a bad hat不正經的傢伙

When I was little... I used to have a dream about this room. You did? I'd be lying here, and it'd be dark... and cold and frightening. And then... a little flame would come. Just a tiny point of light so big... and yet suddenly everything would be... warm and light and peaceful. And then... someone would come and put the flame out, and I'd be terrified.

我小時候…… 我常做一個關於這個房間的夢。 真的？ 我躺在這兒，四周黑漆漆的…… 又冷又嚇人。 然後……會來一小簇火苗。 就那麼一點點光，只有這麼大…… 可一下子，一切都變得…… 溫暖、明亮、安寧。 接著…… 會有人過來把火苗掐滅，我就嚇壞了。

This is where my father painted my mother's picture. Strange to think of them here. My father would have his easel to the light, wouldn't he? And perhaps my mother would sit there in her soft, white dress. But sometimes, of course, he'd paint the other one. - "The other one"? - He had a model, you know. A foreign girl. I've never been able to find out much about her. People get awfully hush-hush when I ask them. Between you and me and the grand piano... I suspect Father was a bit of a bad hat. - Artistic temperament? - Very artistic, I'm afraid. But sometimes, you know, it's quite a comfort to me. - In what way? - If Father had been as good as Mother... think how good I'd have been.

我父親就是在這兒給我母親畫的像。 想到他們曾在這兒，感覺真奇妙。 我父親總把畫架擺在有光的地方，對吧？ 也許我母親就坐在那兒，穿著柔軟的白裙子。 當然，有時候他畫的是另一個人。 ——「另一個人」？——他有個模特，你知道的。 一個外國姑娘。 我一直沒能打聽到多少她的事。 我一問，大家就諱莫如深。 這話只在你我之間說啊…… 我懷疑父親當年有點不像話。 ——藝術家的脾氣？——怕是太藝術家了。 不過你知道嗎，有時候這挺讓我寬慰的。 ——怎麼說？——要是父親像母親那樣好…… 想想我會變得多好。