這場戲：取證翻出餵雞舊賬
第 17 章 · 共 23 章 · 3'06"
取證現場翻出一樁大學舊事：有人被 accused of animal cruelty（指控虐待動物）——他只為入會儀式隨身帶雞，又撕雞肉餵雞，結果 the next thing I knew 就成了 forced cannibalism（逼雞同類相食）。他只能自嘲：It's better to be accused of necrophilia（被指控姦屍都比這強）。想學怎麼吐槽一件荒唐事，這段又好笑又真實。
❝ 獨白 · 7 句 從餵雞到 forced cannibalism（被迫同類相食）
the next thing I knew 等我反應過來、一轉眼的工夫forced cannibalism 被迫同類相食all resolved 得到解決、平息了For all I know 據我所知（其實也不確定）
一場庭外取證翻出大學時的舊賬。律師問薩維林有沒有做過給公司惹麻煩的事，隨後亮出《緋紅》的報道：You were accused of animal cruelty（你被指控虐待動物）。原來他為了進鳳凰俱樂部，照儀式要求整整一週隨身帶一隻雞；那天在食堂撕了幾塊雞肉餵它，被人看見，the next thing I knew（等我反應過來）就被說成 forced cannibalism（被迫同類相食）。他反覆解釋自己沒虐雞，還吐槽 It's better to be accused of necrophilia（被指控姦屍都比這強）。同一場取證裡，還有人被追問是不是 cheating on his final exam（期末作弊），他用 rather not answer（寧可不說）就把對面點著了。想學怎麼解釋誤會、怎麼用自嘲，這些句子都能用。
A1–C2 是歐標等級。點一個等級後，比它高的卡片會變淡，播放到那裡不會自動暫停。
“I didn't know you couldn't do that.”
我不知道你不能這麼幹啊。
把最荒唐的辯解說得最無辜：我餵雞吃雞，是因為沒人告訴我不可以。一句話概括了所有「好心辦蠢事」。
I didn't know you couldn't do that.
為無心之過辯解時用，坦白又帶點好笑。
Nobody told me that was off-limits. ／ I had no idea it wasn't allowed.
口語
didn't know 連讀，couldn't do that 一字一頓。
I didn't know you couldn't park there. 我不知道那兒不能停車啊。
“It's better to be accused of necrophilia.”
被指戀屍還比這強點。
用更重的罪名做反襯：連那種指控都比眼前這樁體面。荒唐到這份上，只能拿更荒唐的來比。
It's better to be accused of ...
被冤枉、且覺得指控離譜到可笑時用，自嘲口吻。
I'd rather be blamed for something believable. ／ Even a worse name would be an upgrade.
口語
better 重讀，accused of 連讀，necrophilia 放慢。
At this point I'd rather be accused of being boring. 到這份上，我寧可被說成無聊。
“I'm not the expert, but being connected to torturing animals is probably bad for business.”
我不是專家，但跟虐待動物扯上關係，對生意大概沒好處。
先宣告自己不是專家，再給出最樸素的商業判斷。裝出謙虛，其實是在提醒對方：這醜聞會傷到公司。
I'm not the expert, but ... is probably bad for business.
用外行口吻給出不利判斷、提醒風險時用。
I'm no expert, but this looks like a serious problem. ／ Not my field, but that can't be good for the brand.
中性
not the expert 輕讀，bad for business 放慢加重。
I'm not the expert, but that rumor is probably bad for business. 我不是專家，但那傳言對生意大概沒好處。
“Now I have to explain this to my father. I'm gonna have to explain this to everybody.”
現在我還得跟我父親解釋。我得跟所有人解釋。
把羞恥攤開數一遍：先是最難過的那一關——父親，再是所有認識的人。荒唐事真正的代價，是解釋不完。
Now I have to explain this to ... I'm gonna have to explain this to ...
闖了荒唐禍、要挨個向人交代時用；對朋友自嘲可以，別在真正嚴肅的道歉裡用，容易顯得在推脫。
Now I have to explain this to my family, and then to everyone else. ／ I'll be explaining this to people for a long time.
口語
my father 放慢，everybody 重讀收尾。
Now I have to explain this to my boss, and then to the whole office. 現在我得跟老闆解釋，再跟整個辦公室解釋。
I have to explain this to my parents, and then to everybody at work. 我得跟父母解釋，再跟所有同事解釋。
I was having dinner in the Kirkland dining hall with Mark, and I had the chicken with me, because I had to have the chicken with me at all times. This was college. - Somebody's gonna have to answer for this. - 969. And the dining hall was serving chicken for dinner, and I had to feed my chicken, so I... Well, I took little pieces of chicken and I gave it to the chicken. Someone must have seen me, because the next thing I knew I was being accused of forced cannibalism.
當時我在柯克蘭食堂跟馬克吃飯， 因為我必須隨時把它帶在身上。 那是大學。 ——這事總得有人負責。——969。 而食堂那天晚飯供應的就是雞肉， 嗯，我撕了幾小塊雞肉，餵給那隻雞。 一定有人看見了，因為緊接著我就發現
下一章 · 18once-in-a-generation一代一遇這場戲：創業者上門大談野心cannibalism 是「同類相食」，forced 是「被強迫的」。臺詞裡有人撕雞肉餵雞，被說成逼雞吃同類，這就是 forced cannibalism，指控荒唐又誇張，笑點也在這裡。
意思是「一轉眼的工夫、等我反應過來」，用來講事情發生得太快、自己都沒搞清。臺詞裡他喂完雞，the next thing I knew 就被指控了，強調事情來得莫名其妙。
字面是「攪鍋」，引申為故意挑動話題、製造爭論。臺詞裡他上 Facebook 發帖、隔三差五 stir the pot，就是為了讓評論區吵起來、熱鬧起來。
For all I know。它表面是「據我所知」，實際暗示「我也不確定，可能就是這樣」。臺詞裡說 For all I know, it was the Winklevosses，就是「說不定就是溫克沃斯他們乾的」。
因為指控和事實差得太遠：帶雞、餵雞本是入會慣例，卻被寫成虐待動物、逼雞同類相食。當事人一邊解釋一邊自嘲，說被控姦屍都比這強，荒誕感撲面而來。
