a few years back
The older man explains that he only discovered the internet a few years back.
I didn't know anything about it until a couple of years ago.I Love You, Man · 2009 — Chapter 4 of 19 · 2'30" · B1
Peter's Awkward Man-Dates, Explained: get the hang of it
Peter keeps trying to click with other men, and the results swing from politely awkward to openly hostile. A poker night collapses into name-calling and a beer-chugging contest, while one dinner ends on "It's nice to meet somebody I can have an actual conversation with."
What happens
Peter is out trying to connect with other men, and it goes badly. A poker night turns hostile: name-calling, a beer-chugging race, and finally a shouted "get out of my house." Later, a dinner with Doug goes the other way — they enjoy the conversation and agree to meet again at Matsuhisa the next night.
Listen for
a couple of years agoassholetake it too seriouslyget the hang of it
00:00 / 02:30Space play · ← → lines · R repeat
Now
Tap a line to replay it
Phrase of the scene
get the hang of it
learn how to do it
A friend tells Peter to just drink the beer and he will pick it up.
It took me a week to get the hang of the new software.
Also in this scene
- a couple of years ago
a few years back
- asshole
a nasty insult
- take it too seriously
overreact to it
- comes down to
ends up being about
- opened up beautifully
improved once aired
Everything marked in this scene
30 notes across 57 lines
the big shot — A jokey way to flatter someone; keep it casual.
-And the big dog ! -There it is!after counting to three
Beatles, Stones. On a count of three.match the bet
I will call in.five spades
I have nothing. I have five spades.overreact to it
Someone tries to calm the poker table by telling everyone not to take it too seriously.
Don't take it too seriously.The t in Don't drops and take it runs together.
Don't take it too seriously.keep betting with a hand
What are you staying in with seven deuce suited?buy more chips
With a fucking rainbow rag flop! Take the fucking chips. I'm buying in.a mixed-suit flop — Poker jargon for a three-suit board.
With a fucking rainbow rag flop! Take the fucking chips. I'm buying in.improved once aired
Asked about the wine, a player says it opened up beautifully once aired.
-Is the wine treating you well? -It opened up beautifully. Thank you.extremely attractive — Blunt praise of looks; not for polite settings.
-She's so hot. -She's smoking.a drinking race
All right, Pete, you done a boat race, right?learn how to do it
A friend tells Peter to just drink the beer and he will pick it up.
-No. -Just drink the fucking beer, -and you'll get the hang of it. -I've got it. I will. . .Link get the, then let hang of it run together.
-No. -Just drink the fucking beer, -and you'll get the hang of it. -I've got it. I will. . .makes no difference
Doesn't matter who's winning.ends up being about
As the drinking race narrows, one line puts the whole contest between two men.
It comes down to you and me.the last pair
-It's gonna be anchors. -We're the anchors.double negative: Ain't no is a spoken double negative that still means none.
-Let's boat. . . Let's boat race! Race it up! -Ain't no luck in boat racing.there is no luck — Nonstandard spoken negation; keep it informal.
-Let's boat. . . Let's boat race! Race it up! -Ain't no luck in boat racing.beat him
Take him down !an exclamation of shock — A crude exclamation of shock; not for formal talk.
Holy shit!had a great time
I gotta tell you, Doug, I really enjoyed this.have dated someone
Near the end of dinner she admits she has dated too many jerks lately.
You know, I've been out with so many jerks recently.present perfect: The present perfect frames it as experience up to now, not one event.
You know, I've been out with so many jerks recently.talk properly with someone
At the end of the dinner Peter admits how rare a real conversation has become.
It's nice to meet somebody I can have an actual conversation with.relative clause: The clause modifies somebody, with the preposition left at the end.
It's nice to meet somebody I can have an actual conversation with.Have an runs together as ha-van before actual.
It's nice to meet somebody I can have an actual conversation with.the following evening
Okay. Tomorrow night. Matsuhisa, 8:00.meet you at that place
-I will see you there, sir. -Awesome.Peter's Awkward Man-Dates, explained
What's really going on
These are Peter's attempts to make a male friend, and the edit plays them as man-dates. The problem isn't that he's rude — it's that he has no idea how men like this bond. He doesn't know the poker slang, loses badly, and when he calls his hand he announces, "I have nothing. I have five spades," handing the table an easy joke. The night collapses into insults and someone gets thrown out. The contrast is the real point: with Doug, Peter finally finds someone he can just talk to, and the line "It's nice to meet somebody I can have an actual conversation with" is the goal the whole movie is chasing. Connection, not performance, is what he's missing.
Theme
FriendshipPeter's attempts to bond with other men fail not from rudeness but from not knowing the rules, until a simple dinner finally clicks.
LonelinessThe montage sets Peter apart from every group he enters — the poker table, the bar, the beer race — leaving him on the outside looking in.
What you'll learn
- Get the hang of it means to learn by doing
- Come down to marks the final deciding factor
- Opened up describes wine after breathing
- A real conversation can redeem a bad night
Listen for
- Don't take it — The t in Don't drops and take it runs together.
- get the hang of it — Link get the, then let hang of it run together.
- have an actual — Have an runs together as ha-van before actual.
It's nice to meet somebody I can have an actual conversation with.Said on a good date, this is the real wish underneath everything: not just company, but someone Peter can actually talk to instead of performing for.
I gotta tell you, Doug, I really enjoyed this.A plain, honest thank-you at the end of a date. Naming Doug directly and admitting he enjoyed it shows Peter dropping his guard for once.
You know, I've been out with so many jerks recently.A complaint about past dates that doubles as a compliment to the person across the table: you're not like the others.
Me, too. How long have you been using the Internet?An awkward icebreaker that reveals how little these two have in common — the only shared ground they can find is how long they've been online.
Questions about this scene
Why is Peter so bad at the poker night?
He doesn't know the game or its etiquette. He misreads his own hand and announces "I have nothing. I have five spades" when that is actually a flush, and he can't read the table's trash talk, so the others treat him as an easy target.
Why does the poker night end with someone being thrown out?
The evening escalates from teasing to real anger. Between the name-calling, the beer-chugging race and no one backing down, it blows up, and the host orders people out of the house.
What does a "boat race" mean here?
It's a drinking contest: two people drink a beer side by side as fast as they can while everyone cheers. Peter is pushed into one and loses badly.
Does Peter's dinner with Doug go well?
Yes, and that's the contrast. They actually enjoy each other, Peter says "It's nice to meet somebody I can have an actual conversation with," and the two plan a second date at Matsuhisa.
I Love You, Man · 19 chapters
All chapters →
Up next · Chapter 5let one ripPeter Meets Sydney at an Open House
Chapter 1put a down payment onPeter Proposes to Zooey
Chapter 2take the leapPeter Misses the Joshua Tree Trip
Chapter 3strike up a conversationPeter Tries to Make Friends
Watching · Chapter 4get the hang of itPeter's Awkward Man-Dates
Chapter 5let one ripPeter Meets Sydney at an Open House
Chapter 6in a jiffPeter Calls Sydney for a Man-Date
Chapter 7Hands downPeter and Sydney's First Man-Date
Chapter 8wet my beakTevin Tries to Wet His Beak
Chapter 9man cavePeter Tours Sydney's Man Cave
Chapter 10squeeze inPeter Bonds with Sydney Over Music
Chapter 11rock your worldPeter Introduces Zooey to Rush
Chapter 12smoking hotPeter Introduces Sydney to His Family
Chapter 13between you and mePeter and Zooey Fight About Privacy
Chapter 14bail onSydney Tempts Peter to Skip HBO
Chapter 15weirded outZooey Confronts Peter About Sydney
Chapter 16hit it offPeter Asks Sydney to Be Best Man
Chapter 17good faithZooey Leaves Peter Before the Wedding
Chapter 18sick ofPeter Confronts Sydney Over Billboards
Chapter 19broke the moldPeter and Sydney Make UpChapter 4 of 19 · about 67 min to go