WinkLingo
Log in

I Love You, Man · 2009 — Chapter 13 of 19 · 5'02" · B2

Peter and Zooey Fight About Privacy, Explained: between you and me

Sydney's toast at the engagement dinner is a disaster, and the fallout lands on Peter and Zooey: she learns he told Sydney something private and snaps, "That stuff is private." The argument is really about where the line sits between a couple and their friends.

What happens

Sydney gives a rambling, oversharing toast at Peter and Zooey's engagement dinner. Afterward Zooey confronts Peter about what he told Sydney, and they argue about privacy and about what she shares with her friends. Later, Sydney apologizes for the toast and suggests a golf foursome so he can get to know Hailey.

Couple fightsPartiesConfrontingApologizingCoupleB2mediumamerican
IMDb ↗

Listen for

pleasure-giverin returna pleasure-filled uniondick

00:00 / 05:02
Space play · ← → lines · R repeat
Now
  1. ❝ MonologueSydney's engagement toast12 linesPractice page ↗
Tap a line to replay it

Phrase of the scene

between you and me

kept private to us

In the privacy fight, Peter softens and asks that some things stay only between the two of them.

Between you and me, I don't trust him.

Also in this scene

  • pleasure-giver

    a giver (with a crude twist)

  • in return

    as a return favor

  • a pleasure-filled union

    a very happy marriage

  • dick

    penis (vulgar)

  • raise a glass

    make a toast

Everything marked in this scene

27 notes across 78 lines

Phrase · B1be about to do something

on the point of doing

Zooey, you are about to marry one of the most honest,
Grammar · B1you are about to marry

be about to: Be about to marry stresses that the wedding is imminent, closer than a plain will.

Zooey, you are about to marry one of the most honest,
Soundabout to

About to blends into abou-ta with the t nearly silent.

Zooey, you are about to marry one of the most honest,
Slang · B2puke pistol

a joking nickname — A crude, joking nickname between friends.

Yeah. A fucking puke pistol.
Phrase · B1in return

as a return favor

Sydney praises Peter for never wanting anything back, framing the toast as a favor owed.

is that he never asks for anything in return, and that's why I'm here.
Phrase · B2someone's confidant

a trusted person

I'm here as Peter's friend, as Peter's confidant,
Phrase · B1return the favor

repay the kindness

Return the favor.
Phrase · B1raise a glass to someone

make a toast

Sydney closes his rambling speech with the classic toast formula, too formal for the mess he just made.

With that, I'd like to raise a glass to Pete and Zooey.
Phrase · B1aside from something

apart from

I mean, aside from how much I love you.
Phrase · B2mention something in passing

casually, without dwelling

I might have mentioned in passing or something that you don't like doing oral sex.
Phrase · A2a hot tub

a heated whirlpool

And telling Hailey and Denise about the hot tub in Mexico isn't?
Phrase · B1remain between us

stay private to us

I do, I love them, but, you know, some things I want to remain between you and me.
Grammar · B2would literally shiver when

would for past habit: Would shiver marks a repeated past habit, equivalent to used to shiver in that period.

By the end of our relationship, he would literally shiver when I touched him.
Phrase · B1no pressure

don't feel forced

Peter claims there is no pressure, then adds a crude example that undoes the reassurance.

Perfect. I mean, no pressure. It's not like I'm saying, "Hey, let's go home tonight and get some BJs." But, you know. . .
Soundget some

Link get some so the t is swallowed by the s.

Perfect. I mean, no pressure. It's not like I'm saying, "Hey, let's go home tonight and get some BJs." But, you know. . .
Grammar · B2if Sydney hadn't asked

third conditional: If plus had asked with would not be talking imagines a past that did not happen, shifting the blame.

Look, if Sydney hadn't asked me about our sex life, we wouldn't even be talking about this.
Phrase · B1be really into someone

very keen on someone

-And Hailey was really into him. -She was?
Slang · C1fucked her

slept with her — Very crude; never in polite talk.

-She was very nice-looking. -Yeah, I fucked her.
Phrase · B1feel horrible about something

feel awful about

I feel really horrible about that toast I gave at your engagement dinner.
Slang · B2ridonculous

ridiculously absurd — Playful slang blend; too casual for writing.

It was ridonculous.
Soundshowed up

Link showed up and keep up short and light.

I was really excited to meet Zooey and your family, and then I showed up there and I was just. . . I got so nervous.
Phrase · B1have good intentions

meant well

When Sydney apologizes, Peter lets him off by separating good motives from bad results.

No, no, no. Look, you had good intentions.
Slang · C1a hot piece of ass

a very attractive person — A crude, objectifying phrase; highly offensive.

Was it Benji's wife? She's a hot piece of ass.
Phrase · B2within minutes of doing something

barely minutes after

She seems great, Pete, but honestly, within five minutes of meeting her, she was telling me how she can't wait to get married and have kids.
Slang · C1blowies

oral sex (slang) — Crude slang; too blunt even for most friends.

Look, man, you told my fiancée that she needs to give me blowies in front of my whole family, all right? You owe me.
Phrase · B2make a valid point

argue something fair

-You make a valid point. -It's golf. It's fun !
Phrase · B1the ninth hole

the ninth green

Sydney states his golf rule about waiting for the ninth hole, and Peter suggests changing it.

I never have a beer until the ninth hole.

Peter and Zooey Fight About Privacy, explained

What's really going on

The fight is not really about oral sex; it is about where a couple's private life ends and friendship begins. Zooey is angry because Peter let Sydney in on something she expected to stay "between you and me," while Peter points out that she tells Hailey and Denise everything. Both are right, which is why neither will drop it. Sydney, meanwhile, knows he overstepped: "I got so nervous," he admits about the toast. His solution is to keep expanding the circle — golf with the four of them — showing how quickly a new best friend can reshape an old relationship.

Theme

RomancePeter and Zooey argue about what stays private between partners, testing how much their relationship can share with outsiders.
FriendshipSydney's toast oversteps, then he apologizes and keeps trying to fold Peter's world into his own.

What you'll learn

  • The toast proves honesty can be a weapon at dinner.
  • Zooey's fight is about privacy, not the joke itself.
  • Sydney's apology works because Peter needs a favor.
  • Golf becomes the price of forgiveness.

Listen for

  • about to — About to blends into abou-ta with the t nearly silent.
  • get some — Link get some so the t is swallowed by the s.
  • showed up — Link showed up and keep up short and light.
The Pistol is a pleasure-giver, that's for sure.

Part of Sydney's toast using Peter's nickname 'the Pistol' and a suggestive pun about him being generous, which sets up the trouble.

I do, I love them, but, you know, some things I want to remain between you and me.

Peter's point about privacy: he likes Zooey's friends, but some parts of their life should stay just between the couple.

I was really excited to meet Zooey and your family, and then I showed up there and I was just. . . I got so nervous.

Sydney's apology: nerves, not malice, made him ramble through the engagement toast.

Look, man, you told my fiancée that she needs to give me blowies in front of my whole family, all right? You owe me.

Peter's guilt-trip, using the embarrassing toast as leverage to get Sydney to agree to golf with the group.

Questions about this scene

Why is Zooey angry after the engagement dinner?

Peter told Sydney a private detail about their sex life, and Zooey thinks that kind of thing should stay between the two of them, not shared with a new friend.

Is Peter right that Zooey shares too much with her friends?

He has a point — she tells Hailey and Denise things — but Zooey answers that she has known them for years, while Sydney is still new.

Why does Sydney want to play golf with the group?

He wants to spend more time with Hailey, whom he liked, and the foursome is his way of getting Peter and Zooey to go along.

What does 'ridonculous' mean?

It's a made-up blend of ridiculous and outrageous; Sydney uses it to call his own bad toast completely absurd.

Why does Peter bring up golf after the toast?

He uses the toast as leverage, saying Sydney owes him, so he should agree to a golf outing even though Sydney doesn't play sports with women.

I Love You, Man · 19 chapters

All chapters →
Up next · Chapter 14bail onSydney Tempts Peter to Skip HBO
Chapter 1put a down payment onPeter Proposes to ZooeyChapter 2take the leapPeter Misses the Joshua Tree TripChapter 3strike up a conversationPeter Tries to Make FriendsChapter 4get the hang of itPeter's Awkward Man-DatesChapter 5let one ripPeter Meets Sydney at an Open HouseChapter 6in a jiffPeter Calls Sydney for a Man-DateChapter 7Hands downPeter and Sydney's First Man-DateChapter 8wet my beakTevin Tries to Wet His BeakChapter 9man cavePeter Tours Sydney's Man CaveChapter 10squeeze inPeter Bonds with Sydney Over MusicChapter 11rock your worldPeter Introduces Zooey to RushChapter 12smoking hotPeter Introduces Sydney to His FamilyWatching · Chapter 13between you and mePeter and Zooey Fight About PrivacyChapter 14bail onSydney Tempts Peter to Skip HBOChapter 15weirded outZooey Confronts Peter About SydneyChapter 16hit it offPeter Asks Sydney to Be Best ManChapter 17good faithZooey Leaves Peter Before the WeddingChapter 18sick ofPeter Confronts Sydney Over BillboardsChapter 19broke the moldPeter and Sydney Make Up
Chapter 13 of 19 · about 25 min to go