honest to God對天發誓

把自己人罵成「活寶」再補一刀「他已經暈了」，手術檯上的黑色幽默。

If ... knew ..., I think he'd ...

在背後拿自己人開涮、又補一句更狠的笑點時可套用；當著當事人別說。

If he knew who was treating him, he'd run. ／ He'd faint if he saw this.

口語

the clowns 重讀，I think he'd faint 語速放慢。

If the client knew who was really doing the work, he'd faint. 要是客戶知道真正幹活的是誰，他會暈過去。

認人成功的那一下驚喜全在語氣裡，後半句還帶點撒嬌的埋怨。

I thought you'd never ...

久別重逢、對方終於認出自己時用；正式場合這句太隨意。

I thought you'd forgotten me. ／ I never thought you'd remember.

口語

it is 重讀拉長，never remember 連讀收尾。

I thought you'd never recognize me with this beard. 我留了這鬍子，還以為你永遠認不出我了。

把火車豔遇說成「找到人生圓滿」，一本正經的誇張最逗。

Only man ever ...

用誇張的定語介紹朋友、調侃他的傳奇經歷時用；正式介紹別這麼編。

The only man who ever ... ／ The one and only ...

口語

TrapperJohn 連讀，Only man ever 放慢強調。

He's the only man ever to fall asleep during his own wedding. 他是唯一一個在自己婚禮上睡著的人。

用「裝備最齊全」四個字替代粗話，雙關藏在正經詞裡。

He's what you might call the best-equipped ...

想開黃腔又不想說髒字時，用正經詞打雙關；正式場合這種玩笑別開。

He's very well equipped. ／ The best-equipped man in the unit.

口語

what you might call 輕快帶過，best-equipped 重讀。

He's what you might call the best-equipped hiker on the trip. 他就是你說的那種，全隊裝備最齊全的驢友。

把冒犯包進恭維，聽著像夸人，實際是拿職業當玩笑。

It's a good thing ..., otherwise we'd ...

用「幸虧……不然……」半開玩笑地敲打人時用；職場裡這種話算騷擾，別學。

Good thing for you, or else. ／ You're lucky it's you.

口語

a good thing 重讀，get rid ofyou 連讀成一片。

It's a good thing you drive, otherwise we'd never get there. 幸虧你會開車，不然我們根本到不了。

把自己人辦的活動調侃成一個節日，畫面感一下就有了。

It must be ... Day in ...

調侃某個固定活動或熱鬧場面時用；正式報道別拿節日名開玩笑。

Must be shower day again. ／ It's that time again.

口語

well, well, well 一串帶過，Painless Polish Day 重讀。

It must be free-food day in the office again. 準是辦公室又到免費零食日了。