hold out for堅持等待更好的

Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll take a shot. Say I'm workin' at the N.S.A. And somebody puts a code on my desk. Somethin' no one else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it, and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. And once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels are hidin'. Fifteen hundred people that I never met, never had no problem with, get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Oh, send in the marines to secure the area. " 'Cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number got called... 'cause they were all pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie over there takin' shrapnel in the ass. He comes back to find that the plant he used to work at... got exported to the country he just got back from... and the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job... Meanwhile, he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place... was so that we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And, of course, the oil companies used a little skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them... They're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, of course. Maybe they even took the liberty of hirin' an alcoholic skipper... who likes to drink martinis and fuckin' play slalom with the icebergs. It ain't too long till he hits one, spills the oil... and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now by buddy's out of work. He can't afford to drive... so he's walkin' to the fuckin' job interviews, which sucks... because the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic haemorrhoids. And meanwhile, he's starvin' 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat... the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for something better. I figure, fuck it. While I'm at it, why not just shoot my buddy... take his job, give it to his sworn enemy... hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal... hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I can be elected president.

我為什麼不該為國家安全域性工作？ 這問題不好答，但我試試看。 假設我在國安局上班。有人把一段密碼放我桌上。 一段沒人破得了的密碼。 也許我試著破它，也許我破了。 我特別得意，因為活兒幹得漂亮。 可也許那段密碼是北非或中東某支叛軍的位置。 他們一拿到位置，就轟炸叛軍藏身的村莊。 一千五百個我素不相識、無冤無仇的人，就這麼死了。 然後政客們說：「派海軍陸戰隊去控制那片地區。」因為他們根本不在乎。去挨槍子的又不是他們自己的孩子。 就像當年徵兵抽到他們時，去的也不是他們…… 因為他們都在國民警衛隊裡掛個名混日子。 去那兒屁股挨彈片的，會是某個南波士頓的孩子。 他回來後發現，他以前上班的那家工廠…… 被搬到了他剛回來的那個國家…… 而那個把彈片打進他屁股的人，頂了他的舊崗位…… 同時他明白了，當初他被派到那兒，唯一的原因…… 就是為了讓我們能扶植一個願意低價賣石油給我們的政府。 當然，石油公司借那邊的一場小衝突，把國內的油價嚇著往上漲。 對他們來說，這是個可愛的小小附帶收益…… 當然，他們慢悠悠地才把石油運回來。 也許他們還自作主張僱了個酗酒的船長…… 那人愛喝馬提尼，還他媽的跟冰山玩起迴轉滑雪。 沒過多久他就撞上一座，把石油漏了出來…… 害死了北大西洋所有的海洋生物。 這下我那哥們兒失業了。他連車都開不起…… 只能他媽的走著去面試，慘得很…… 因為屁股裡的彈片讓他得了慢性痔瘡。 而且他還餓著肚子，因為每次他想找點東西吃…… 選單上唯一的特價套餐，就是泡了機油味的北大西洋鱈魚。 那我是怎麼想的？ 我在等一份更好的工作。 我想，管他呢。既然都這樣了，何不乾脆崩了我那哥們兒…… 搶了他的工作，送給他的死對頭…… 抬高油價，轟炸村莊，用棍子打死小海豹…… 再抽口大麻，加入國民警衛隊？ 這樣我就能當選總統了。