這場戲：前院否認希伯來名
第 8 章 · 共 10 章 · 3'13"
街區沒有別的猶太人，有人只想 fit in（混進群體不被看出來）。祖父隔著七棟房子喊 Shmuel（什穆埃爾），前院馬上一句 No, he must be calling somebody else（他一定在叫別人）。怕信仰會 make me a pariah（讓人變成誰都躲著的棄兒），希伯來名被當場否認，這份羞恥一直留在後來的回憶裡。
❝ 獨白 · 7 句 紅燈下的第一記憶
畫面先到，名字後補，聽的人跟著往紅燈走。
❝ 獨白 · 13 句 祖父喊 Shmuel，他只想 fit in（混進群體不被看出來）
fit in 混進群體不被看出來there was no way 當時覺得這件事絕不可能As loud as he could 把嗓子扯到不能再響
怕 make me a pariah（被群體躲開的棄兒）才否認
too different from 跟別人差得太扎眼assimilated family 把自家特徵收起來、外表跟周圍一樣的家庭make me a pariah 讓人變成誰都躲著的棄兒ashamed of myself 為自己做過的事覺得丟人
採訪問到信不信上帝，有人說到 my spiritual，立刻 not even spiritual（當場否掉剛說的詞），改口落到 religious roots（信仰從家族根上長出來）。家是正統派，街區卻沒有猶太人，門外孩子齊聲罵 the Spielbergs are dirty Jews（侮辱猶太人的罵法）。有人說 All I wanted to do was fit in（混進群體不被看出來），下一句 there was no way I could fit into anything。祖父隔著七棟房子喊 Shmuel，朋友一問 Is he talking to you，希伯來名就被否認。後文拿 Father Knows Best 對照 assimilated family（把自家特徵收起來、外表跟周圍一樣的家庭）：寧可否認小時候接受的一切，也不要 make me a pariah（被群體躲開的棄兒）。pariah 比 lonely 更重，是被整群人躲開。
A1–C2 是歐標等級。點一個等級後，比它高的卡片會變淡，播放到那裡不會自動暫停。
“And the red light was the Eternal Light, the Ner Tamid, and that's my very first memory.”
那盞紅燈就是長明燈，Ner Tamid，這也是我最早的記憶。
紅燈先出現，再被命名，最後收成一生最早的記憶。
那就是Y，也是我最早的Z。
講最早記憶時可以用。正式報告裡別疊兩個專名。
後來我才知道那東西叫什麼。 ／ 那就是我記得的第一幕。
literary
Light稍重，Tamid放輕，memory落下。
The clatter was the subway, and that is the first sound I still trust. 那陣響是地鐵，也是我到現在還敢信的第一種聲音。
“All I wanted to do was fit in.”
我當時唯一想做的，就是融進去。
願望被收成一個動作，後面的排擠都從這句長出來。
我當時唯一想做的就是…
跟親近的人說當年只求合群。對上司或剛認識的人別說滿。
我當時只求跟大家一樣。 ／ 我只想別被人看出來。
口語
wanted稍重，fit in收短，不要拆開。
All she wanted to do was finish lunch without one question. 她當時唯一想做的，就是安安靜靜吃完午飯。
“And by being Jewish, there was no way I could fit into anything.”
可正因為我是猶太人，我根本不可能融入任何地方。
身份被寫成原因，no way把路堵死，和想融入對著打。
正因為是X，我沒法去做Y。
私下講某種身份如何堵死去路。不要當面給別人定性。
就因為這個身份，我哪都進不去。
中性
no way壓重，後面fit into輕輕帶過。
By being the intern, there was no way she could set their rules. 正因為她是實習生，規矩根本輪不到她來定。
“And I immediately denied that that was me.”
我立刻否認那就是我。
immediately卡在否認前，兩個that把名字和自己劈開。
我立刻否認那個人是我。
事後向朋友承認自己當時撇清。當面抵賴或正式場合別用。
我馬上說那不是在叫我。 ／ 我當場不認那是我。
口語
immediately加快，兩個that別停太久。
She immediately denied that the spare key was hers. 她立刻否認那把備用鑰匙是她的。
“I still feel ashamed of myself even remembering that long stretch of my life where I didn't want to be Jewish anymore.”
即使現在想起那段很長的、不想再做猶太人的日子，我仍為自己感到羞恥。
still把羞恥留到現在，光是回憶就夠讓它回來。
即使現在想起那段，我仍覺得…
只對信得過的人說舊事至今難堪。上臺演講別說這麼裸。
那段日子我想起來還是難堪。
中性
ashamed放慢，stretch連讀，anymore落下。
I still feel awkward even remembering the year I pretended not to know them. 即使現在想起那年我裝不認識他們，仍覺得彆扭。
Spielberg: My very first memory-- I was in a stroller. I just remember being wheeled somewhere, and my grandmother and grandfather were with me. We went into this underground space. There was a red light over a set of doors. And I just remember getting closer and closer to this red light where all these old men-- just men were all chanting something. And the red light was the Eternal Light, the Ner Tamid, and that's my very first memory.
斯皮爾伯格：我最早的記憶——我還在嬰兒車裡。 我只記得被人推著走，祖母和祖父跟我在一起。 我們進了這個地下的地方。 一組門上方有一盞紅燈。 我只記得越來越靠近這盞紅燈，那兒全是老人—— 全是男人，在吟唱什麼。 那盞紅燈就是不滅的長明燈，這是我最早的記憶。
Spielberg: I certainly experienced being excluded and being picked on and discriminated against. All I wanted to do was fit in. And by being Jewish, there was no way I could fit into anything. My grandfather would come over to spend a week with us, and I'd be playing in the front yard seven houses down, and my grandfather would stand on our front porch and yell my Hebrew name, "Shmuel!" As loud as he could, "Shmuel!" And all my friends would say, "Is he talking to you? That's your house." And I immediately denied that that was me. "No, he must be calling somebody else." "Is your name Shmuel?" And all my friends started laughing. "Shmuel? What's Shmuel?" And meanwhile, in the background, you can hear my grandfather yelling with a Russian accent, "Shmuel!"
斯皮爾伯格：我確實經歷過被排除、被欺負、被歧視。 我只想混進去。 可因為是猶太人，我哪兒都混不進去。 祖父會過來跟我們住一週，我在前院玩， 隔著七棟房子，祖父站在我們門廊上喊我的希伯來名字：「什穆埃爾！」 用盡全力喊：「什穆埃爾！」 朋友們都說：「他在叫你嗎？那是你家。」 我立刻否認那是我。 「不，他一定在叫別人。」 「你叫什穆埃爾？」 朋友們都笑起來。 「什穆埃爾？什穆埃爾是什麼？」 與此同時，背景裡能聽見祖父帶著俄國口音喊：「什穆埃爾！」
下一章 · 09top billing名字排在最前的位置這場戲：並列領銜再交旗臺詞裡原句是 make me a pariah：一旦會變成被群體躲開的棄兒，小時候接受的一切就不再接受。它比 lonely 更重，不是獨自一人，而是整群人把你躲開。前院連希伯來名 Shmuel 都否認，就是怕走到這一步。
英語是 fit in。All I wanted to do was fit in 後面就是 there was no way I could fit into anything：因為是猶太人，在沒有猶太人的街區哪兒都混不進去。祖父喊 Shmuel 時，前院才把名字一起否認。
被問信不信上帝時，話先到 my spiritual，馬上用 not even spiritual 把詞收回，改口是 my religious roots and family。後面數的是正統派、希伯來學校和成人禮，不是空說一種心情。
孩子們站在門外齊聲喊 the Spielbergs are dirty Jews，這是侮辱猶太人的罵法，罵的是整家人。同一段裡還有 being picked on（被盯著捉弄）和 a real cultural divide（兩邊日子互相隔開），猶太人和外邦人那天是互相隔開的。
祖父隔著七棟房子在門廊上喊 Shmuel。朋友說 Is he talking to you，回答是 No, he must be calling somebody else，接著被問 Is your name Shmuel，大家再笑問 What's Shmuel。名字被否認，是因為只想 fit in，受不了跟街區裡的人不一樣。
原話是 Steve did not want to be Jewish，因為那讓家裡人 too different from everybody。緊接著把 Father Knows Best 叫成 assimilated family，意思是把自家特徵收起來，外表跟周圍一樣。yearned for 的就是這種家，所以後來連猶太人身份也否認。
