for the birds白費勁

And it's like the room was filled with this thick green and red web, you know? And it's coming out of Laura, and it's coming out of the table... and it's coming out of the walls, and it's coming out of the floor. You know? And all of a sudden... my face hit a table, you know, and I blacked out. So Laura dragged me outside and laid me on the grass... you know, hoping I'd wake up. And then her grandma came home, who she lived with, you know... and her grandma called an ambulance. So I'm laying in the hospital, passed out. They got my brain on a brain scanner. You know how your brain's supposed to go beep, beep, beep? Well, mine just went-- Straight across, you know? And the doctor goes to my ma... "I don't think your son is gonna make it. Sorry. I think he's gonna die. I don't think there's any way we can wake him up or nothing." So, all of a sudden, I smell this real strong smell. And it's smelling salts they got in front of my nose. I start to wake up, and all I see is bright lights. I'm like, "Damn, where the hell am I?" Then I realize I'm in the hospital, so I check my pockets for the acid. They analyzed one hit, and it turned out to be... blotter paper dipped in liquid P.C.P. with a little bit of downer in it. They said if it hadn't been for that little bit of downer, I'd be dead. Anyway, I'm checking my pockets for the acid... because I was gonna drop my other three hits in the hospital, you know? All of a sudden, my ma walks in the room and she's holding the bag of acid. I'm like, "Damn, now I can't drop the rest of my acid in the hospital." So she flushes it down the toilet, you know? So then they kept me in the hospital another month. They said I was the worst case they ever had. They let me go, and I continued using drugs... all the way up until... a little under a year and a half ago.

就好像整間屋子都纏滿了又厚又密的紅綠蛛網，你懂嗎？ 它從勞拉身上冒出來，從桌子上冒出來…… 從牆裡冒出來，從地板裡冒出來。 你懂嗎？然後冷不丁地…… 我的臉撞在桌子上，你懂的，然後我就眼前一黑。 於是勞拉把我拖到外頭，讓我躺在草地上…… 你懂的，盼著我能醒過來。 後來跟她住一起的外婆回了家，你懂的…… 她外婆叫了救護車。 我就那麼躺在醫院裡，不省人事。 他們把我的腦袋放進腦掃描器裡。 你知道腦子本該是嘀、嘀、嘀地響吧？ 可我那條就——直接一條直線，你懂嗎？ 然後醫生跟我媽說…… "我看你兒子怕是挺不過來了。 抱歉。我覺得他快不行了。 我覺得我們怎麼都沒法把他叫醒了。" 然後冷不丁地，我聞到一股特別衝的味道。 是他們放我鼻子底下的嗅鹽。 我開始醒過來，睜開眼只看見刺眼的燈光。 我就想，"靠，這他媽是哪兒？" 等我反應過來自己在醫院，就摸口袋找那批迷幻藥。 他們化驗了一劑，結果發現是…… 吸墨紙浸了液態PCP，還摻了一點鎮定劑。 他們說要不是那一點鎮定劑，我早就沒命了。 反正我一邊摸口袋找那批迷幻藥…… 因為我本來打算在醫院裡把剩下那三劑也嗑掉，你懂嗎？ 冷不丁地，我媽走進房間，手裡拿著那袋迷幻藥。 我就想，"靠，這下我沒法在醫院裡把剩下的藥嗑掉了。" 然後她把它衝進了馬桶，你懂的。 於是他們又讓我在醫院多住了一個月。 他們說我是他們見過最嚴重的一例。 他們放我出院，我繼續嗑藥…… 一直嗑到…… 差不多一年半以前。