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Dove Cottage will not take latecomers, even with nobody waiting on the path. Steve offers stuck in traffic. Rob asks to pop inside for a look, as if a cottage were a neighbour's kitchen. They walk off arguing whether Coleridge's opium now means heroin, then a fan wants a signature and whether the paper called Steve a cunt. Cheese keeps Rob from getting off to sleep. The sting is how English can be perfectly polite and still refuse you.
S
Steve Coogan lead comedian
R
Rob Brydon travel partner
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Chapters 20 parts · AI-cut 00:00 / 04:52 1× English only
00:00 Right, okay, well, it's five past. 00:02 I'm really sorry, sir, but these are the rules . 00:03 We'll be very quick . 00:05 Yes, I know, but that really wouldn't be fair on all the other latecomers . 00:10 What other latecomers? I can't see anyone. 00:11 No, I know. Not at the moment , but... 00:13 Please? We've come from London. 00:15 Why didn't you come earlier? 00:17 Well, that's... because I got stuck in traffic . 00:20 Well, I'm really sorry. 00:21 Perhaps you could come back tomorrow . 00:23 - I can't come back tomorrow. - Is this man troubling you? 00:25 What are you doing? Honestly. 00:27 We just wondered if we could pop inside and have a little look at the cottage. 00:30 Mr. Brydon? 00:31 Yes, it is. 00:32 It's very nice to meet you. 00:34 Would you do something for me ? 00:35 Depends what it is. 00:37 I have a grandson, and he loves that tiny man... 00:42 Small man in a box? 00:43 Small man in the box that you do. 00:45 Could you sign this for him? 00:47 Sure. Yeah. 00:48 Thank you. Thank you. 00:49 What's his name? 00:50 His name is William. 00:52 Well, look, I'll sign this for William, okay, if... 00:56 if my friend and I can go take a look at Dove Cottage. 00:59 What do you say? 01:00 I don't understand that. 01:05 Why do people have to be like that? 01:07 She wasn't being like anything. 01:09 It is only open for another half an hour, and that woman, in all fairness , is probably bereaved. 01:15 Yeah, but why... it's not my fault her husband's dead. 01:17 No, but you... 01:19 Old people, at some time... not all old people, but a lot of them... seek out aggravation . 01:24 Oh, that's total rubbish. 01:26 She was lovely. 01:29 Looks not unlike yourself in that picture. 01:35 Okay, ready? One, two... 01:51 Want some? 01:52 Uh, no, thank you. 01:53 Sure? 01:54 Absolutely. 01:56 I never smoked . 01:57 Mm. 01:59 That's the trouble with you, Rob. 02:02 You're not open to new experiences . 02:05 I would remind you of the time I had a Red Bull and Coke. 02:12 That's not what Coleridge would have been imbibing. 02:16 He wouldn't have been having a spliff, would he? 02:19 No, he wouldn't, but I mean, if they'd been around... 02:21 He would have definitely partaken if they'd have been around. 02:23 If you really want to pay tribute to him, you should be having some opium. 02:28 What, that's... 02:31 Or its modern-day equivalent . 02:32 This is... well, this is... 02:33 well, no, the modern-day equivalent of that, that's heroin. 02:36 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. 02:37 I'm not a junkie, Rob. 02:40 I'm not encouraging you to become hooked on heroin . 02:43 I'm just saying... 02:44 It sounds like you are. 02:45 I'm not. Why would I do that? 02:46 I don't know. For a laugh . 02:48 Ha-ha. It was a hell of a laugh. 02:50 You know Steve? You seen Steve lately? 02:53 He's living at the council estate curled up in his own shit. 02:55 Aye. That was my doing, that was. 02:57 I suggested he try heroin. 02:59 Cracking idea. 03:01 I would never do that. 03:07 Most creative... the most creative people smoke, you know, smoke marijuana, smoke hash. 03:29 Are you Steve Coogan? 03:30 Yes, I am. 03:31 A-ha! 03:32 A-ha. 03:34 - All right, man. How you doing? - Fine, thanks. 03:36 Yeah, listen, do us a favor , would you? 03:37 Will you sign that? 03:38 - Yes, of course. - Make it out to Paul. 03:40 Okay. 03:42 - Can I ask you a question? - Yeah, of course, absolutely. 03:44 Is true, what I read about you? 03:46 What do you read about me? 03:47 That you're a bit of a cunt . 03:50 Well, where did you read that? 03:52 It's in today's newspaper. Here, look. 03:56 Uh, whoever said that doesn't know me very well . 03:59 Are you sure? 04:05 What? 04:06 "Coogan is a cunt says dad." 04:09 "Cunt"? 04:22 Did you not sleep well or something? 04:25 No. 04:26 I couldn't get off 'cause of the food, and then when I did get off , I was having awful dreams, really bad dreams. 04:34 Blue cheese. 04:35 Coleridge was a poor sleeper. 04:38 I was reading his poem called The Pains of Sleep. 04:43 "Sleep, the wide blessing, "seemed to me distemper's worst calamity. 04:49 "The third night, when my own loud scream had waked me "from the fiendish dream, "o'ercome with sufferings strange and wild, I wept as I had been a child." Language points Click a card to jump to its moment in the video All 29 Collocation 20 Grammar 3 Pronunciation 4 Slang 2
P Collocation A2 ↩ 00:02 these are the rules these are the rules
no exceptions I'm really sorry, sir, but these are the rules . S Pronunciation ↩ 00:02 these are the rules stress I'm really sorry, sir, but these are the rules . P Collocation A1 ↩ 00:03 very quick very quick
won't take long We'll be very quick . P Collocation B1 ↩ 00:05 fair on someone fair on someone
unfair to someone Yes, I know, but that really wouldn't be fair on all the other latecomers . G Grammar B1 ↩ 00:05 wouldn't be fair on all the other latecomers would be Yes, I know, but that really wouldn't be fair on all the other latecomers . P Collocation A2 ↩ 00:11 at the moment at the moment
right now No, I know. Not at the moment , but... S Pronunciation ↩ 00:11 at the moment weak form No, I know. Not at the moment , but... P Collocation A2 ↩ 00:17 stuck in traffic stuck in traffic
held up by cars Well, that's... because I got stuck in traffic . S Pronunciation ↩ 00:17 stuck in traffic elision Well, that's... because I got stuck in traffic . P Collocation A2 ↩ 00:21 come back tomorrow come back tomorrow
try again next day Perhaps you could come back tomorrow . P Collocation B1 ↩ 00:27 pop inside pop inside
step in briefly We just wondered if we could pop inside and have a little look at the cottage. G Grammar B1 ↩ 00:27 if we could pop inside if-clause We just wondered if we could pop inside and have a little look at the cottage. P Collocation A2 ↩ 00:34 do something for someone do something for someone
do me this one thing Would you do something for me ? P Collocation B2 ↩ 01:09 in all fairness in all fairness
to be fair It is only open for another half an hour, and that woman, in all fairness , is probably bereaved. P Collocation C1 ↩ 01:19 seek out aggravation seek out aggravation
go looking for hassle Old people, at some time... not all old people, but a lot of them... seek out aggravation . P Collocation A2 ↩ 01:56 never smoked never smoked
never smoked at all I never smoked . P Collocation B1 ↩ 02:02 open to new experiences open to new experiences
willing to try things You're not open to new experiences . P Collocation B2 ↩ 02:31 the modern-day equivalent the modern-day equivalent
today's version of it Or its modern-day equivalent . P Collocation B1 ↩ 02:40 hooked on something hooked on something
addicted to it I'm not encouraging you to become hooked on heroin . P Collocation A2 ↩ 02:44 sound like sound like
that comes across as It sounds like you are. P Collocation B1 ↩ 02:46 for a laugh for a laugh
just for fun I don't know. For a laugh . P Collocation A2 ↩ 03:36 do someone a favor do someone a favor
do me a favour Yeah, listen, do us a favor , would you? ↗ Slang A2 ↩ 03:36 do us a favor do me a favour — Casual ask, a bit familiar, like you already know each other. Yeah, listen, do us a favor , would you? P Collocation B1 ↩ 03:38 make it out to someone make it out to someone
dedicate the autograph to - Yes, of course. - Make it out to Paul. ↗ Slang C1 ↩ 03:47 cunt nasty bastard (very rude) — British nuclear insult; keep it off work and off strangers. That you're a bit of a cunt . P Collocation A2 ↩ 03:56 not know someone very well not know someone very well
has me wrong Uh, whoever said that doesn't know me very well . P Collocation B1 ↩ 04:26 get off to sleep get off to sleep
fall asleep
get to sleep (not get off a bus) I couldn't get off 'cause of the food, and then when I did get off , I was having awful dreams, really bad dreams. G Grammar B1 ↩ 04:26 when I did get off did for emphasis I couldn't get off 'cause of the food, and then when I did get off , I was having awful dreams, really bad dreams. S Pronunciation ↩ 04:26 get off liaison I couldn't get off 'cause of the food, and then when I did get off , I was having awful dreams, really bad dreams.
Teaching points Review right after watching My level A1 A2 B1 B2 C1 C2
✦ Collocation A2 ↩ 00:02 these are the rules policy, not a personal no auto-pauses In the scene Staff refuse late entry even though no other latecomers are in sight.No re-entry after 10. These are the rules. In daily life Quiet floor. These are the rules. Wipe the bench. These are the rules. ✦ Collocation A2 ↩ 00:11 at the moment for now auto-pauses In the scene She admits there are no other late people right now, then keeps the rule.There's no queue at the moment, and still no exception. In daily life No seats at the moment, even though the map looks empty. The doctor isn't free at the moment. ✦ Idiom B1 ↩ 00:17 stuck in traffic late because of cars auto-pauses In the scene Steve uses it to explain missing last admission.The call started without me. I was stuck in traffic on the ring. In daily life Stuck in traffic by the bridge, don't hold the stand-up. She's stuck in traffic, so delay the toast. ✦ Phrasal verb B1 ↩ 00:27 pop inside duck in for a minute auto-pauses In the scene Rob tries to shrink breaking the rule into a neighbourly look.Can we pop inside for two minutes if we stay in the hall? In daily life Pop inside until the hail passes. I'll pop inside and grab the parcel. ✦ Collocation B2 ↩ 01:09 in all fairness giving the other side its due above my level In the scene Steve says the woman is probably bereaved, so stop pushing.In all fairness, she warned us the gate would close. In daily life In all fairness, the intern inherited that mess. In all fairness, the ref had no angle. ✦ Collocation B1 ↩ 02:40 hooked on heroin addicted to auto-pauses In the scene Opium's modern equivalent becomes heroin and Steve panics at the joke.I'm hooked on that podcast, not on anything chemical. In daily life She's hooked on a cooking show at 1 a.m. Hooked on oat lattes since the new machine. ✦ Phrasal verb B1 ↩ 04:26 get off get off to sleep auto-pauses In the scene Rob blames the cheese, then the nightmares after he finally drops off.I couldn't get off until the neighbour's bass stopped. In daily life The duvet's too hot. I can't get off. I got off for an hour, then the alarm in my head went.
Golden lines A great line in its own right — why and how to use it “I'm really sorry, sir, but these are the rules.”
Why it's great
Sorry first, then the door stays shut, so there is nothing left to negotiate.
Use it yourself
I'm sorry, these are the rules. The gate is closed.
No cash refunds. These are the rules.
◈ Create share poster ↩ 00:02
“You're not open to new experiences.”
Why it's great
It sounds like a travel brochure until you hear he is pushing heroin as culture.
Use it yourself
You're not open to new experiences if you reorder the same bowl.
Skip the chain hotel if you're open to new experiences.
◈ Create share poster ↩ 02:02
“Yeah, listen, do us a favor, would you?”
Why it's great
The fan talks like you already owe him the autograph.
Use it yourself
Do us a favor and point us at platform 4.
Do us a favor and close the blinds.
◈ Create share poster ↩ 03:36
Takeaways What you walk away with These are the rules as a polite wall Stuck in traffic as a late excuse Get off as British for falling asleep
People also search Questions, then the lines Are these are the rules polite? Polite surface, no exception. The cottage uses it on latecomers.
Does get off mean leave a bus? Not here. In British sleep talk it means drop off. Cheese kept Rob awake.
Is stuck in traffic always true? It is the stock late excuse. Here it explains missing admission.
What does at the moment dodge? The empty path. No other latecomers now, but the rule still stands.
