這場戲：害怕仍答應出庭
第 14 章 · 共 22 章 · 3'22"
日子在警察、檢控和法院手裡：my life is in the hands of the police, the CPS, the court system（由別人掌控）。隱私、家人、朋友都押著，so much at stake（面臨失去）。她還是說 Yes, I will give evidence in court（出庭陳述）。
❝ 獨白 · 9 句 日子 in the hands of 別人，由別人掌控
in the hands of 由別人掌控，自己做不了主at stake 面臨失去，一失敗就賠掉give evidence 出庭陳述，提供證言
❝ 獨白 · 9 句 pro bono 被用來加重好人，律師無償做的公益工作
pro bono 律師無償做的公益工作The law says 法律寫明瞭不許這麼做pretend it was consensual 事後硬說雙方當時願意
get away with it 仍不許毀了她，做了卻能脫身不受罰
get you down 把人的情緒和勁頭壓垮get away with it 做了卻能脫身不受罰gruff hug 又粗又緊的一下抱住
日子不在自己手裡。有人說 in the hands of the police, the CPS, the court system（由別人掌控）。隱私、家人、朋友 so much at stake（一失敗就賠掉）。她害怕，可心裡那個女孩 fought and fought（拼了又拼）就是要被人看見，什麼都不做會失去她，於是說 Yes, I will give evidence in court（出庭陳述）。媽媽來了，她卻把錯攬到自己身上，還抬出對方做很多 pro bono（律師無償做的公益工作）。擁抱裡有一句 Don't let them get you down（把人的情緒和勁頭壓垮），後面一句 Even if they get away with it（做了卻能脫身不受罰）。日子被別人捏住時用前面兩句；有人可能逃掉、自己還得撐住，用後面兩句。
A1–C2 是歐標等級。點一個等級後，比它高的卡片會變淡，播放到那裡不會自動暫停。
“But there is this person inside of me, that girl who fought and fought to be seen.”
可我身體裡還有一個人，那個一次次硬撐、只為被看見的女孩。
重複fought，把硬撐說成還活在身體裡的另一個自己。
someone inside of me who…
對自己或密友說還剩一口氣，彙報和客套別用。
身體裡還有個不肯停的人 ／ 裡頭那個還在撐的自己
literary
第一個fought重讀，be seen稍抬。
There is still this person inside of me who wants the job done right. 我身體裡還有一個人，仍想把這事做對。
“Look to your left, look to your right, who won't make it?”
看看你左邊，看看你右邊，誰會撐不下去？
左右一對再問誰掉隊，像點名，壓力落到在場的人身上。
Look left, look right, who…?
給同伴加壓、訓練開場能說，安慰喪親或一對一別用。
看看兩邊，誰會先掉隊 ／ 左右看看，誰撐不到底
中性
兩個look to同調，who往上收。
Look to your left, look to your right, who is still standing in June? 看看左邊，看看右邊，誰能撐到六月？
“'You can't rape and then pretend it was consensual, can you, Mum?'”
你不能強姦了再裝成雙方同意，對吧，媽？
法律詞直接問給母親，反問把自責掐斷，又用Mum拉回家。
You can't X and pretend Y.
對親近的人戳破抵賴時說，法庭正式陳述別套這句。
做了再裝沒事，說得通嗎 ／ 傷害完還說對方同意
口語
rape與consensual咬清，Mum前停一下。
You can't take the money and then pretend it was a gift, can you? 你不能拿了錢再裝成是禮物，對吧？
“'Be your strong self! Don't let the bastards get you down!”
做回你那個強硬的自己！別讓那些混蛋把你壓垮！
先命令做回自己，再用粗口把對手收成一群，抱著說的。
Don't let them get you down.
熟人打氣可以帶髒字，正式慰問和客戶場合別用。
別讓那些人把你壓下去 ／ 做回你硬的那一面
口語
strong self重讀，down落到句尾。
Don't let them get you down just because the client shouted. 別因為客戶吼了一聲，就讓他們把你壓垮。
“'Even if they get away with it, you don't let them ruin our Tessa.'”
就算他們逃掉了，你也別讓他們毀了我們的泰莎。
先承認也許贏不了，再把人從案子里拉回到名字。
Even if…, don't let them…
家人摯友輸了仍要護人時說，對法官或公函別用。
就算他們脫了身，也別毀了你 ／ 贏不了，也別把人搭進去
口語
Even if輕起，Tessa放慢收住。
Even if they get away with it, do not let them ruin your record. 就算他們逃掉了，也別讓他們毀了你的記錄。
No, my life is in the hands of the police, the CPS, the court system. I have no control. So much at stake – my privacy, my family, my friends. Everything. I am scared. But there is this person inside of me, that girl who fought and fought to be seen. Look to your left, look to your right, who won't make it? She is brave, and if I do nothing, I... ..I think I could lose her. 'Yes. Yes, I will give evidence in court.'
不，我的生活捏在警察、皇家檢控署、法院這套系統手裡。 我做不了主。 押上的太多——我的隱私，我的家人，我的朋友。 一切。我害怕。 可我心裡還有這麼個人，那個拼了又拼、就是要被人看見的女孩。 看你左邊，看你右邊，誰走不到頭？ 她勇敢，而我要是什麼都不做，我…… ……我想我可能會失去她。 「是。是，我願意出庭作證。」
'You fucked a guy on a sofa in work.' 'You invite him back to your home.' 'You're so drunk you even vomit.' Berating myself. 'You didn't scream or kick enough, you just froze. 'In the middle of it all, you just froze. What is wrong with you? 'No. You're pathetic. 'You let him sleep in your bed after he'd done that to you, 'while you cried in the shower? 'Julian, he is a good barrister, he does lots of pro bono work, 'what are you doing to him? 'What if he really thought you were consenting?'
「你在辦公室的沙發上，跟一個男的幹了。」 「你請他回你家。」「你醉到都吐了。」 我在罵自己。 「你沒叫夠，也沒踢夠，你只是僵住了。 「事情正發生的時候，你卻僵住了。你到底有什麼毛病？」 「不。你真窩囊。」 「他對你做了那種事之後，你還讓他睡在你床上，你自己在淋浴裡哭？」 「朱利安，他是個好大律師，他做很多不收費的活，你在對他做什麼？ 「萬一他真以為你同意了呢？」
下一章 · 15psyche myself up先把自己的勁擰上這場戲：出庭被說成騙子就是由別人掌控，自己做不了主。這句是 my life is in the hands of the police, the CPS, the court system，下一句就是 I have no control。
就是面臨失去，一失敗就賠掉。這句是 So much at stake – my privacy, my family, my friends，前面剛說生活在警察、檢控和法院手裡。
說 make it。這句是 Look to your left, look to your right, who won't make it，問的是誰走不到頭、誰不被淘汰。
字面是律師無償做的公益工作。她用它給朱利安加重好人的分量：he is a good barrister, he does lots of pro bono work，並怪自己 what are you doing to him。
說 Don't let them get you down。擁抱裡這句接在 Be your strong self 後面，意思是別讓那些人把你的勁頭壓垮，下一句才是 Even if they get away with it。
說 get away with it。擁抱裡那句是 Even if they get away with it, you don't let them ruin our Tessa，意思是就算他們逃掉，也不許毀掉泰莎。
