這場戲：識字課上被點名朗讀
第 5 章 · 共 9 章 · 3'04"
少管所的識字課上，老師點名讓囚犯一句句念課文，念不出來就當眾挨涮。有人一句 something else（真不一般）半誇半損，再甩出 literacy test（識字測試）的成績——只夠三年級，教室瞬間炸開。想學會不帶髒字地損人、聽懂老師用一句反問壓住全場，這場戲值得逐句摳。
❝ 獨白 · 9 句 「這沒什麼可笑的」英語是 nothing to laugh at
nothing to laugh at 沒什麼可笑的literacy test 識字測試Keep it simple 別搞複雜、簡單點write a report on 寫關於……的報告
這是少管所裡的一堂識字課。老師點名讓囚犯輪流朗讀課文，唸到一半卡殼就被當眾嘲諷；有人評價同伴「真不一般」，英語是 something else，這句話既能夸人也能損人，語氣全看場合。緊接著老師拿出 literacy test（識字測試）的成績——大多隻夠三年級，又順勢宣佈讀漫畫寫報告的任務，用 keep it simple（簡單點）提醒別寫複雜。這段戲適合想學課堂指令、學會半開玩笑地評價別人的人，一句 something else 用得好，比直白誇讚更有味道。
A1–C2 是歐標等級。點一個等級後，比它高的卡片會變淡，播放到那裡不會自動暫停。
“Hey, look, this is nothing to laugh at.”
嘿，聽著，這沒什麼好笑的。
用 nothing to laugh at 一句掐滅全屋的鬨笑，短促有力。
this is nothing to (do).
有人拿正事開玩笑時用；對熟人、對同事都能說，語氣偏嚴肅。
There's nothing funny about this. ／ That's not something to joke about.
中性
nothing to 連讀，laugh 重讀。
This is nothing to joke about at work. 工作上這事可沒什麼好開玩笑的。
“Now, maybe if some of you could read, you wouldn't be in here.”
也許你們當中要是有誰識字，就不會待在這兒了。
虛擬條件句把諷刺說到骨頭裡：會讀書，就不用來這兒。
if someone could (do), they wouldn't be ...
諷刺對方處境、點出因果時用；對人不客氣，正式場合少用。
If you'd studied, you wouldn't be here. ／ If they could read, they wouldn't need this.
口語
if 後稍頓，wouldn't 的 t 吞掉。
If you had trained, you wouldn't be on the bench. 你要是練過，就不會坐冷板凳了。
“Look, you think of yourself as a moron, you can't feel that good about yourself, now, can you?”
你要是把自己當成傻瓜，就沒法對自己感覺太好，對吧？
把自我評價和感受綁成因果，末尾反問逼人承認。
you think of yourself as X, you can't feel good, can you?
點破別人自我貶低時用；帶教訓口吻，別對上級說。
Call yourself useless and you'll feel useless. ／ If you see yourself as a loser, you'll act like one.
口語
think of yourself as 連讀，can't 重讀。
You think of yourself as a failure, you can't aim high, can you? 你把自己當失敗者，就沒法往高處想，對吧？
“You should be in the third grade.”
你該上三年級才對。
用年級一句話量出識字水平，平靜卻極其羞辱。
You should be in (a level/place).
挖苦能力不夠、水平太差時用；傷人，只在私下或戲裡說。
You belong in a beginner class. ／ This is third-grade work for you.
口語
should 重讀，third grade 兩個重音。
With that handwriting, you should be in the first grade. 就這字，你該上一年級。
“I want you to read the comic book I'm gonna give you and write a report on it.”
我要你們讀我發的漫畫，然後寫一份讀書報告。
一條指令疊兩個動作，把課堂任務說得不容商量。
I want you to (do) and (do).
佈置任務、明確要求時用；對下屬、對學生都常見，語氣直接。
I need you to read it and report back. ／ Read this and write it up.
中性
gonna give you 連讀，report 重讀。
I want you to read the brief and send me notes. 我要你讀完簡報，然後把筆記發我。
“Sir, I don't think Lofgren can handle this.”
老師，我覺得洛夫格倫應付不了這個。
否定前移把輕蔑包進禮貌裡：不是我不認為，是他不行。
I don't think (someone) can (do).
委婉表達對他人能力的懷疑時用；對長輩加 sir，語氣仍冒犯。
I don't think he's up to it. ／ I doubt he can manage this.
中性
don't think 連讀，handle 重讀。
I don't think the new guy can lead this yet. 我覺得新人還帶不了這個。
“I'm not telling you again.”
我不會再說第二遍。
最後通牒式的短句，把耐心耗盡說得乾淨利落。
I'm not (doing) again.
警告、下最後通牒時用；對平輩或下屬說，別對客戶說。
I won't say it twice. ／ Don't make me repeat myself.
口語
not 重讀，again 收尾略降。
I'm not asking you again. 我不會再問你第二遍。
Hey, look, this is nothing to laugh at. Now, maybe if some of you could read, you wouldn't be in here. You ever think about that? Look, you think of yourself as a moron, you can't feel that good about yourself, now, can you? I just got back the results of that literacy test you took, that reading test. You should be in the third grade. All right. Yay. Well, I got my own reading test for you. I want you to read the comic book I'm gonna give you and write a report on it.
嘿，聽著，這沒什麼好笑的。 你們要是有人真會讀書，也不至於待在這兒。 你們想過這一點嗎？ 聽著，你要是把自己當成傻子，心裡能好受嗎？ 你們參加的那次識字測試，就是那個閱讀測試，成績剛出來。 你們的水平只夠上三年級。 好。耶。 那好，我給你們準備了我自己的閱讀測試。 我要你們讀我發的那本漫畫書，然後寫一篇讀書報告。
下一章 · 06screw up搞砸這場戲：仇人住進同一宿舍字面是「別的東西」，口語裡表示「真不一般、有你的」。可真心夸人，也可陰陽怪氣損人，要看語氣和場合。
literacy test。literacy 指讀寫能力，學校或機構用來測一個人會不會讀寫的考試，就叫 literacy test。
交代任務或解釋事情時，讓對方別搞複雜、寫簡單點。放慢語速說這一句，比講一長串要求更清楚。
不是。它指某人愛頂嘴、嘴上不饒人，常帶批評意味；也可以用來替人說話：他自己有嘴，不需要別人代言。
口語裡也常表示「你先來、接著做」。請對方先行一步，或在對方猶豫時催一句，都很常用。
