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Be Here Now · 2015 — 第 10 / 27 章 · 3'50" · B2

Andy's Bad Reaction to Chemo, Explained：lost my mind

Andy describes losing his mind after a bad reaction to a cancer drug: days of talking himself off a roof and a bleak depression. Vashti remembers him unable to talk properly and lashing out, and the doctor calls it an unheard-of reaction, so they switch back to the old chemo. Then a raw phone call home.

あらすじ

Andy recounts an extreme reaction to one of his cancer drugs: he lost his mind, spent days talking himself off a roof, and sank into a bleak depression he couldn't see past. Vashti remembers him unable to hold a conversation, angry and saying strange things. The doctor calls it unheard-of and unpredictable, so they return to the old chemo mix. Vashti breaks down on the phone to her mother.

At the doctorPhone callsConfessingExplainingSpousesB2slowbritish
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注目の表現

lost my mindthere's no waybrilliant knackcrap

00:00 / 03:50
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  27. ❝ 独白Vashti's plea for time4 行練習ページ ↗
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このシーンの表現

lost my mind

went completely crazy

Talking on the phone, Andy sums up his drug reaction by saying he truly lost his mind.

I nearly lost my mind waiting for the test results.

このシーンの他の表現

  • there's no way

    it is impossible

  • brilliant knack

    a sarcastic compliment

  • crap

    worthless, awful

  • full on

    intense and relentless

  • take it all in

    absorb and process it

このシーンのメモ一覧

49 行のセリフに 27 件のメモ

表現 · A2have no idea

have no clue

I have no idea where the last week has gone.
表現 · B1a reaction to something

a response to something

I had some reaction to...
表現 · B2lose one's mind

went completely crazy

Talking on the phone, Andy sums up his drug reaction by saying he truly lost his mind.

I literally lost my mind.
表現 · B2descend into something

sink into a state

And I descended into the darkest,
表現 · B2see an end to something

see it end

and I could not see an end to it.
表現 · B1share a conversation with someone

talk together properly

He couldn't really share a conversation properly, didn't know what he wanted and he was actually, I don't know if he realized, but really quite aggressive.
文法 · B1didn't know what he wanted

noun clause: The what-clause works as the object of know and keeps subject-then-verb order.

He couldn't really share a conversation properly, didn't know what he wanted and he was actually, I don't know if he realized, but really quite aggressive.
発音couldn't really

The t in couldn't often drops before really.

He couldn't really share a conversation properly, didn't know what he wanted and he was actually, I don't know if he realized, but really quite aggressive.
表現 · B1there's no way ...

impossible

and that there's no way they could foresee it and so we're not going to do it again.
文法 · B2no way they could foresee it

appositive clause: The clause after no way spells out what is impossible; the that is dropped.

and that there's no way they could foresee it and so we're not going to do it again.
表現 · B2the old + 名词

the previous version

So we're going to go back to the old mixture of chemo.
表現 · B1at the worst time

at the worst moment

You've got a brilliant knack of phoning at the worst time.
発音brilliant knack

Link the final t of brilliant straight into knack.

You've got a brilliant knack of phoning at the worst time.
表現 · B1at the moment

right now

At the moment, I have to say.
発音call you

Call you blends into call-ya in connected speech.

I tried to call you last night several times.
表現 · B2see the light

see hope at last

So it's been a weird couple days and it feels like we're sort of seeing the light, and yeah.
発音sort of

In fast speech sort of shrinks to sorta and the of disappears.

So it's been a weird couple days and it feels like we're sort of seeing the light, and yeah.
スラング · B1sort of

kind of — Softens a statement in casual speech; avoid in writing.

So it's been a weird couple days and it feels like we're sort of seeing the light, and yeah.
スラング · B2crap

awful — Casual and crude; avoid it in formal settings.

And at the moment, I feel like a fucking crap wife and a horrible mum and a selfish person with horrible thoughts going on in my head.
スラング · B2fucking

damn, as intensifier — A raw intensifier for strong feeling; not for polite talk.

I just want more fucking time.
表現 · B2take it all in

absorb and process it

Vashti asks for time to take it all in, meaning time to absorb what is happening.

I need some time to take it all in.
スラング · B2full on

intense and nonstop — British slang for intense; common in casual talk.

It's just been really full on.
表現 · B2be torn

torn between options

I'm very torn.
文法 · B2a pimple they've got on their face

contact relative clause: A relative clause with the pronoun left out; it still describes the pimple.

"Why are they worried about a pimple they've got on their face or a poor guy's broken his leg and he won't be a triathlete anymore,
表現 · B2fall apart

break down

I just knew I'd fall apart when I spoke to you.
表現 · B2take the pressure off someone

ease the load on someone

And it will take some pressure off Vashti because I'm conscious that Vashti's trying to manage the children and me.
文法 · B2I'm conscious that Vashti's trying

adjective plus that clause: The that-clause after conscious states exactly what he is aware of.

And it will take some pressure off Vashti because I'm conscious that Vashti's trying to manage the children and me.

「Andy's Bad Reaction to Chemo」を読み解く

What's really going on

The scene is the aftermath of something the family couldn't prepare for. Andy's reaction to a drug was so severe that he says he "literally lost my mind" and spent days "talking myself off a roof" — a confession delivered calmly, which is what makes it land. Vashti gives the other side, describing a man she didn't recognize: unable to talk properly, angry, saying strange things. What neither of them does is pretend it was their fault; the doctor names it an unknown reaction with no way to foresee it. The phone call to Vashti's mother is where the composure breaks. She admits she feels like a "crap wife and a horrible mum," then names the thing she really wants: "I need some time to take it all in." The scene's honesty is its point — nobody performs strength here, and needing your mum is treated as normal, not weak.

Theme

Death & griefAndy and Vashti describe the terror of a mind lost to a drug and the fear of running out of time.
Family loveVashti longs for her mother, and Andy relies on family support to get through treatment.

このチャプターで学べること

  • Illness can erase whole days from memory.
  • Vashti refuses self-pity and asks only for time.
  • A swear can carry more honesty than a calm sentence.
  • Family care is measured in pressure taken off someone.

発音のポイント

  • couldn't really — The t in couldn't often drops before really.
  • brilliant knack — Link the final t of brilliant straight into knack.
  • call you — Call you blends into call-ya in connected speech.
  • sort of — In fast speech sort of shrinks to sorta and the of disappears.
I have no idea where the last week has gone.

A quiet marker of how much the treatment has scrambled his sense of time. Days vanish, and he can't account for them.

I just want more fucking time.

The fear beneath everything: not death exactly, but the shortage of time. It's blunt and unpolished because it's said in the middle of breaking down.

I need some time to take it all in.

The same plea in calmer words: she isn't asking for a cure, just enough space to absorb what's happening.

Sometimes you just need your mum.

The scene's simplest line and its emotional landing: after all the medical talk and fear, the answer is family.

このシーンについての質問

What happened to Andy after the drug reaction?

He says the reaction made him lose his mind for three or four days, including moments of talking himself off a roof, and then plunged him into a deep depression.

Why does the doctor stop the treatment?

The reaction was unknown and could not have been foreseen, so it isn't safe to repeat. The team returns to the previous chemotherapy mixture instead.

Why is Vashti so upset in this scene?

She's been holding the family together while Andy was not himself, and the strain shows. She admits feeling like a bad wife and mother, and confesses she just needs more time.

What does 'lost my mind' mean here?

It's an idiom for going out of your mind, losing control of your thoughts. Andy uses it literally — a drug reaction left him in a state where he couldn't think or behave normally.

Be Here Now · 全 27 章

すべて見る →
次のチャプター · 第 11 章make a differenceAndy's Mum Comes to Help
第 1 章take it day by dayAndy Shows His Kids the Sword第 2 章that's how we rollAndy Wins the Role of Spartacus第 3 章breeze throughAndy Whitfield's Cancer Returns第 4 章second opinionAndy and Vashti Get a Second Opinion第 5 章crossroadsAndy and Vashti Face a Crossroads第 6 章here's the thingAndy Asks Vashti for Support第 7 章good for someoneAndy Visits an Indian Astrologer第 8 章go with the flowAndy Learns to Go With the Flow第 9 章six packAndy Comes Home After Chemo再生中 · 第 10 章lost my mindAndy's Bad Reaction to Chemo第 11 章make a differenceAndy's Mum Comes to Help第 12 章wipe outAndy Toasts Another Year of Adventure第 13 章on the back burnerAndy's Long Road to Acting第 14 章the big gunsAndy Mourns His Lost Career第 15 章broach the subjectAndy Shaves His Hair With the Kids第 16 章be there for someoneVashti Reads the Update to Andy第 17 章have your cake and eat itHow Andy and Vashti Met第 18 章bull in a china shopThe Doctor Reads Andy the Riot Act第 19 章make or breakAndy Faces His Own Mortality第 20 章made peace withDo What's in Your Heart第 21 章wiped outAndy Turns Fear Into Love第 22 章battle throughAndy's Scan Results and Radiation第 23 章live with somethingAndy Gets Back to Work第 24 章draw a line in the sandAndy Gets the Bad Scan Results第 25 章buy timeDoctors Give Andy Three to Six Months第 26 章at the end of the dayAndy and Vashti Move House第 27 章broken like a butterflyAndy Says Goodbye to His Kids
第 10 / 27 章 · 残り約 51 分