這場戲：從一杯水聊到共黨陰謀
第 9 章 · 共 20 章 · 2'16"
空軍基地的辦公室裡，裡珀面不改色地給曼德雷克講他的理論：water is the source of all life（水是一切生命的源泉），人要靠水來補充 precious bodily fluids（寶貴的體液），而 fluoridation（飲水加氟）正是他口中的共產黨陰謀。想學怎麼用一本正經的語氣說離奇的事，值得一聽。
water is the source of all life（水是一切生命的源泉）
commie 共黨分子on no account 絕不、無論如何都不source of all life 一切生命的源泉precious bodily fluids 寶貴的體液
裡珀把曼德雷克叫進辦公室，繞著一杯水展開他那套偏執理論：他先問對方見沒見過共產黨人喝水，然後自己點破 Water. That's what I'm getting at（水，我想說的就是水）。接著他說 water is the source of all life（水是一切生命的源泉），人體要靠水來 replenish our precious bodily fluids（補充寶貴的體液）。最後他丟擲真正的結論：飲水加氟是 the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot（最荒誕可怕、最危險的共產黨陰謀）。想表達「我想說的就是這個」「絕不」，或聊某種陰謀論，都能用上這幾句。
A1–C2 是歐標等級。點一個等級後，比它高的卡片會變淡，播放到那裡不會自動暫停。
“Have you ever seen a commie drink a glass of water?”
你見過共黨分子喝一杯水嗎？
把荒唐前提說成常識提問，越一本正經越好笑也越可怕。
Have you ever seen ...?
用反問丟擲離譜前提時用；對方沒開玩笑時可別這麼反問。
Have you ever known them to do that? ／ Did you ever see such a thing?
中性
Have you ever 連成一片，glass of water 輕快收尾。
Have you ever seen him arrive on time? 你見過他準時到過嗎？
“Well, I can't say I have, jack.”
這個嘛，我可沒見過，傑克。
不反駁也不附和，用一句含糊的退讓保住面子，是英式敷衍的範本。
I can't say I have.
被問到不好接的話時用；正式彙報裡別用它糊弄上級。
I wouldn't know about that. ／ That's not something I've seen.
中性
can't say I have 連讀成一句，jack 輕收。
I can't say I have read that report yet. 那份報告我可還沒讀過。
“Water. That's what I'm getting at. Water.”
水。我想說的就是水。水。
一個詞開頭一個詞收尾，把平日的普通物念成了咒語。
That's what I'm getting at.
對方老猜不到重點、你要把話題釘死時用；別對聽不懂的人重複太多次。
That's the point I'm making. ／ That is exactly my point.
口語
Water 前後都重讀，句中 getting at 連讀。
Sleep. That's what I'm getting at. Sleep. 睡覺。我說的就是睡覺。睡覺。
“Mandrake, water is the source of all life.”
曼德雷克，水是一切生命的源泉。
一句再普通不過的科學常識，被他說得像軍事機密，荒誕感由此而來。
X is the source of all life.
鄭重其事地強調某物的根本性時用；日常說笑別太浮誇。
Everything alive depends on water. ／ Water is what all life comes from.
中性
source of all 連讀，life 拖長降調。
Coffee is the source of all life in this office. 在這間辦公室裡，咖啡是一切生命的源泉。
“Seven-tenths of this earth's surface is water.”
地球表面十分之七都是水。
拿一句科普資料給陰謀論撐腰，嚴肅的數字和瘋狂的結論互相成全。
Seven-tenths of X is Y.
用資料支撐觀點時用；數字要準，別為唬人隨口編。
About seventy percent of the surface is water. ／ Most of the planet is covered by water.
正式
Seven-tenths of 連讀，surface is 輕快帶過。
Seven-tenths of the complaints came from one team. 十分之七的投訴都來自同一個團隊。
“Have you ever heard of a thing called fluoridation of water?”
你聽說過一種叫飲水加氟的做法嗎？
用一個看似專業的詞把普通做法說成陰謀入口，提問本身就帶鉤子。
Have you ever heard of a thing called ...?
引出陌生概念、想試探對方知不知道時用；查證前別急著下結論。
Do you know what they call it? ／ Have you come across the term ...?
中性
heard of a 連讀，fluoridation 重音在第二音節。
Have you ever heard of a thing called quiet hiring? 你聽說過一種叫「靜默招聘」的做法嗎？
“Two can play at that game, soldier.”
你要玩這套，我也會，士兵。
一句習語把對峙說成博弈，短促又硬氣，很適合放在翻臉的時刻。
Two can play at that game.
對方使手段、你表示奉陪時用；跟上級或客戶這樣說會顯對抗。
If that's how it's going to be, so be it. ／ I can play the same game.
口語
can play at 連讀，that game 重讀收尾。
If she leaks our numbers, two can play at that game. 她要是洩露我們的資料，這招我也會。
下一章 · 10as dead as the moon死寂得像月球這場戲：末日機器停不下來字面是「寶貴的體液」。裡珀相信飲水加氟會汙染人體的體液、損害健康，所以只喝蒸餾水、雨水和純穀物酒精。現在常被拿來調侃偏執的陰謀論說法。
正式又強調的說法是 on no account，常用於倒裝句，比如 On no account will a commie ever drink water，意思是共黨分子絕不會喝水。日常口語也可以說 under no circumstances。
get at 指「想說明、暗示」。曼德雷克說 See what you're getting at，就是我明白你想說什麼的意思。
意思是「這招你使得，我也使得」，用來放話回敬對方。裡珀對開槍計程車兵說這句，就是表示你敢打，我也敢打。
fluoridation 指飲水加氟，在自來水裡加入微量氟化物防蛀牙。裡珀卻把它當成共產黨瓦解美國的陰謀，這也是這場戲的荒誕之處。
