for the birds白费劲

And it's like the room was filled with this thick green and red web, you know? And it's coming out of Laura, and it's coming out of the table... and it's coming out of the walls, and it's coming out of the floor. You know? And all of a sudden... my face hit a table, you know, and I blacked out. So Laura dragged me outside and laid me on the grass... you know, hoping I'd wake up. And then her grandma came home, who she lived with, you know... and her grandma called an ambulance. So I'm laying in the hospital, passed out. They got my brain on a brain scanner. You know how your brain's supposed to go beep, beep, beep? Well, mine just went-- Straight across, you know? And the doctor goes to my ma... "I don't think your son is gonna make it. Sorry. I think he's gonna die. I don't think there's any way we can wake him up or nothing." So, all of a sudden, I smell this real strong smell. And it's smelling salts they got in front of my nose. I start to wake up, and all I see is bright lights. I'm like, "Damn, where the hell am I?" Then I realize I'm in the hospital, so I check my pockets for the acid. They analyzed one hit, and it turned out to be... blotter paper dipped in liquid P.C.P. with a little bit of downer in it. They said if it hadn't been for that little bit of downer, I'd be dead. Anyway, I'm checking my pockets for the acid... because I was gonna drop my other three hits in the hospital, you know? All of a sudden, my ma walks in the room and she's holding the bag of acid. I'm like, "Damn, now I can't drop the rest of my acid in the hospital." So she flushes it down the toilet, you know? So then they kept me in the hospital another month. They said I was the worst case they ever had. They let me go, and I continued using drugs... all the way up until... a little under a year and a half ago.

就好像整间屋子都缠满了又厚又密的红绿蛛网，你懂吗？ 它从劳拉身上冒出来，从桌子上冒出来…… 从墙里冒出来，从地板里冒出来。 你懂吗？然后冷不丁地…… 我的脸撞在桌子上，你懂的，然后我就眼前一黑。 于是劳拉把我拖到外头，让我躺在草地上…… 你懂的，盼着我能醒过来。 后来跟她住一起的外婆回了家，你懂的…… 她外婆叫了救护车。 我就那么躺在医院里，不省人事。 他们把我的脑袋放进脑扫描仪里。 你知道脑子本该是嘀、嘀、嘀地响吧？ 可我那条就——直接一条直线，你懂吗？ 然后医生跟我妈说…… "我看你儿子怕是挺不过来了。 抱歉。我觉得他快不行了。 我觉得我们怎么都没法把他叫醒了。" 然后冷不丁地，我闻到一股特别冲的味道。 是他们放我鼻子底下的嗅盐。 我开始醒过来，睁开眼只看见刺眼的灯光。 我就想，"靠，这他妈是哪儿？" 等我反应过来自己在医院，就摸口袋找那批迷幻药。 他们化验了一剂，结果发现是…… 吸墨纸浸了液态PCP，还掺了一点镇定剂。 他们说要不是那一点镇定剂，我早就没命了。 反正我一边摸口袋找那批迷幻药…… 因为我本来打算在医院里把剩下那三剂也嗑掉，你懂吗？ 冷不丁地，我妈走进房间，手里拿着那袋迷幻药。 我就想，"靠，这下我没法在医院里把剩下的药嗑掉了。" 然后她把它冲进了马桶，你懂的。 于是他们又让我在医院多住了一个月。 他们说我是他们见过最严重的一例。 他们放我出院，我继续嗑药…… 一直嗑到…… 差不多一年半以前。