plain as the nose on your face明摆着

把老话讲得又俏皮又扎心，一句就把母亲的登门说成命运的玩笑。

when you least expect it, ... has a way of ...

劝人别急、感叹事情突然发生时用；正经报告里这样说显得轻佻。

Just when you least expect it, life surprises you. ／ Fate tends to show up unannounced.

中性

least expect 连读，has a 轻快带过，句尾 door 降调。

I ran into my old teacher when I least expected it. 我在最想不到的时候碰见了以前的老师。

喊全名再补一句反话，母亲的失望和威压一下全出来了。

I'd hardly call this ...

用反话表达不满时用；对不熟的人这样说会显得刻薄。

I wouldn't exactly call this fine. ／ This is hardly what I'd call okay.

口语

hardly 重读，call this 连读，感叹句尾往上挑。

I'd hardly call this finished. 这我可算不上完工。

顺着对方的挖苦再补一刀，把未来女婿贬得不如一条鱼。

I'd be happier if ...

半开玩笑地嫌弃某人时用；当着当事人的面说会伤人。

Honestly, I'd prefer the fish. ／ That would be an upgrade.

口语

happier if 连读，the catfish 拖长，尾音带笑。

I'd be happier if she dated anyone but him. 她跟谁都行，就是别跟他。

用一句被用烂的俗语点破出轨，末了还自嘲老套，格外好气又好笑。

as plain as the nose on your face

说事情显而易见到不用解释时用；对伤心的人说会显得轻慢。

It was staring me right in the face. ／ It couldn't have been more obvious.

口语

plain as 连读，Cliché 稍作停顿，sorry 放轻收尾。

The lie was as plain as the nose on your face. 那谎话说得明摆着，谁看不出来。

搬出光速来劝人别急，一本正经的胡扯正是这个角色的味道。

nothing moves faster than ... / you may as well ...

用夸张道理劝人看开点时用；正式场合别拿它当论据。

There's nothing you can rush here. ／ You might as well take it easy.

口语

All I know is that 一气呵成，speed of light 重读，relax 拖长。

Nothing moves faster than bureaucracy, so you may as well relax. 官僚机构比什么都慢，你还不如放轻松。