freak out吓坏了

Man, I am freaking out so severely. Did you hear what happened on the freeway? You didn't see the local news today? Oh, it's beautiful. Man, this old man driving to town from San Antonio... like this old man about 40 or 50 years old... goin' about a hundred miles an hour down the freeway... waving a gun at people, laughing. Like, doin' fuckin' chicken squawks at people out the window... and showing them his gun and going like - Things like that. People were freaked. They didn't know if he was just a lunatic, you know... with, like a squirt gun or what. And then, check it out, the guy started firing on the freeway... randomly through his windows. He shot one bullet up at the roof of his car... and it just ricocheted around inside with him for a while. He was, like, out of his mind. Everybody tried to get off the freeway. Some chick who had a bullet lodged in her ponytail... called the pigs in San Marcos. And they had six or seven pig cars chasing him into the south side of town. He was still swingin' the gun around, man, and laughing. He fuckin' laughed all the way. Finally his car spun out and slammed into the grassy knoll... you know, the median. As soon as his car came to a halt, man... he just put the gun to his head and blammo. Offed himself, man. Blew himself away right there. It's like, I don't know... he had had enough, enough.

老兄，我慌得不行。你听说高速上出的事了吗？ 你今天没看本地新闻？ 哦，太精彩了。 老兄，一个老头从圣安东尼奥开车进城…… 就一个大概四五十岁的老头…… 在高速上开到每小时一百英里左右…… 冲人挥着枪，还笑。 还从车窗里冲着人发出他妈的鸡叫声…… 还给人看他的枪，比划成那样——就这类动作。 大家都吓坏了。也不知道他是不是就是个疯子，你知道…… 拿的是不是把玩具水枪什么的。 然后你猜怎么着，那家伙就在高速上开始开枪了…… 毫无目标地从车窗往外打。 他朝自己车顶打了一枪…… 子弹就在车里跟着他弹来弹去，好一会儿。 他就像疯了一样。所有人都想赶紧下高速。 有个姑娘，马尾辫里卡了颗子弹…… 给圣马科斯的条子打了电话。 他们派了六七辆条子车，一路追到城南。 他还在那儿挥着枪，老兄，还在笑。 他他妈一路笑到底。 最后他的车打滑失控，撞上了路边那片草地…… 你知道，就是中央隔离带。 车刚一停下，老兄…… 他就把枪顶在自己头上，砰。 他自尽了，老兄。就在那儿把自己崩了。 就那种，我说不好…… 他是受够了，彻底受够了。

Oh, yeah. I know what I gotta show you guys. This -This will blow your gourd. I have this friend, all right, she's a gynecologist in Hollywood. And she scored this for me from the lab where she works. It's a Madonna pap smear. I know it's kind of cloudy, but it's a Madonna pap smear. It's got "Ciccone" on the top. That's like a medical label. "Ciccone." Check it out. I know it's kind of disgusting... but it's like, it's sort of... like getting down to the real Madonna. I don't know if you can see it now. I freaked out when it came in the mail. It had two pubic hairs in it, and I showed it to this asshole... and he stole one of them. But if you look real close, you can see it's still in there. It's about as black as they come. Do you think maybe, uh... you'd be interested in buying something like this? It's like a high-dollar item. It's, you know, one of a kind. It's like chance of a lifetime. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm pretty broke, though. What about you? Do you think you know anyone who might be - I mean, it's a little bit getting closer to the rock god herself... than just a poster. No? All right. You guys' loss. I thought I could, you know, maybe swing a bargain.

哦，对了。我知道该给你们看点东西了。 这——这东西能把你吓一跳。 我有个朋友，好吧，是好莱坞的妇科医生。 她从她工作的实验室里给我弄到了这个。 这是麦当娜的宫颈涂片。 我知道它有点浑浊，可这是麦当娜的宫颈涂片。 上头写着「西科内」。那算是医疗标签。「西科内」。 你瞧瞧。我知道这有点恶心…… 可它就像，有点…… 像是触到了真实的麦当娜。 我不知道你现在看不看得见。它寄到的时候我都激动坏了。 里面有两根阴毛，我拿给一个混蛋看…… 他偷走了一根。 可你要是仔细看，能看见它还在里面。 那颜色黑得不能再黑了。 你们觉得，呃…… 你们会有兴趣买这样的东西吗？ 这算是件高价货。 它，你知道，是独一份。就像一辈子难遇的机会。 是啊，我信。 不过我可没什么钱。 你呢？你觉得你认识谁可能会——我是说， 这多少能让人离摇滚女神本人更近一点…… 比一张海报强多了。 不行？行吧。是你们的损失。 我本以为，你知道，说不定能谈成一笔。