這場戲：向丈夫坦白愛上情人
第 14 章 · 共 15 章 · 2'38"
萊斯利向丈夫坦白，她一直愛著那個被自己開槍打死的人。她說 in love with（愛上）哈蒙德，又說每次見面都 beside myself（情緒失控）。想說清又愛又恨、理智全無的心情，這兩個表達最到位。
❝ 獨白 · 7 句 她說 in love with（愛上）那個被殺的人
in love with 愛上、與…相戀at peace 心裡安寧、踏實reproaching myself 自責、責備自己
❝ 獨白 · 6 句 開槍那一夜的複述
把追趕、連開數槍寫成近乎機械的動作，情緒反而更重。
萊斯利終於向丈夫羅伯特說出真相：她多年來一直愛著哈蒙德，兩人每週偷偷見面，沒有一個人察覺。她一句 in love with（愛上）說盡了舊情，用 at peace（心裡安寧）說自己從沒有一刻安寧，又用 beside myself（情緒失控）形容得知他要離開時的崩潰，最後承認 There's no excuse for me（我沒有任何藉口）。想用英語講一段又愛又恨的往事，這一段是最好的範本：既要有 in love with 這種固定搭配，也要有 beside myself、at peace 這類描寫心情的說法。
A1–C2 是歐標等級。點一個等級後，比它高的卡片會變淡，播放到那裡不會自動暫停。
“It means that I was in love with Geoff Hammond.”
意思是，我愛上了傑夫·哈蒙德。
一句最平常的句子宣佈最不平常的事，把整場審判推翻。
It means that I was in love with ...
要坦白一段隱瞞的感情或真相時用；在眾目睽睽下這樣說幾乎等於自毀。
The truth is I loved Geoff Hammond. ／ It means I have been in love with him all along.
literary
It means that 輕帶過，in love with 重讀，人名放穩。
It means I was in love with someone else back then. 意思是，那時候我愛著另一個人。
“I was like a person who is sick with some loathsome disease and doesn't want to get well.”
我就像得了什麼噁心病症的人，卻不想好起來。
用一個病與不肯痊癒的比喻，把上癮般的情感說透。
I was like a person who ...
形容自己明知有害卻戒不掉時用；在正式場合這樣說會顯得過於私密。
I was like an addict who refuses to quit. ／ It was a sickness I had no wish to cure.
literary
loathsome 重讀，doesn't want 連讀，get well 收慢。
I was like a person who knows the habit is poison and keeps at it. 我就像明知這習慣是毒藥，卻還是停不下來的人。
“Even my agony was a kind of joy.”
連我的痛苦都成了一種快樂。
把矛盾並置成一句短詩，痛與快感同時成立。
Even my ... was a kind of ...
寫複雜感受、描述又愛又恨時用；日常對話裡說會顯得過於文氣。
Even the pain felt good. ／ My suffering itself became a pleasure.
literary
Even 輕起，my agony 重讀，a kind of joy 放慢。
Even my exhaustion was a kind of happiness. 連我的疲憊都成了一種幸福。
“I hated him because he'd made me despise myself.”
我恨他，因為他讓我瞧不起自己。
把恨的根由指回自己，一句話拆穿愛與自尊的糾纏。
I hated him because he'd made me ...
說清怨恨的真正來源時用；對當事人當面說出會立刻撕破臉。
I hated him for making me hate myself. ／ What I really hated was what he turned me into.
中性
hated him 連讀，because 輕讀，despise myself 重讀。
I hated him because he had made me doubt myself. 我恨他，因為他讓我懷疑自己。
“There's no excuse for me.”
我沒有任何藉口。
不辯解、不求情，五個詞把罪責全部收進自己身上。
There's no excuse for me.
認錯、拒絕為過錯找理由時用；對長輩或上級說會顯得鄭重而沉重。
I have no excuse. ／ Nothing can justify what I did.
正式
There's 輕讀，no excuse 重讀，for me 收平。
There's no excuse for what I said to you. 我對你說的那些話，沒有任何藉口。
We used to meet each other constantly once or twice a week. Not a soul had the smallest suspicion. Every time I met him, I hated myself, and yet I lived for the moment when I'd see him again. It was horrible. There was never an hour when I was at peace, when I wasn't reproaching myself. I was like a person who is sick with some loathsome disease and doesn't want to get well. Even my agony was a kind of joy.
我們以前常常見面，每週一兩次。 沒有一個人起過半點疑心。 每次見到他，我都恨自己， 可我又一心盼著再見到他的那一刻。這太可怕了。 我沒有一刻是安寧的，沒有一刻不在責罵自己。 我就像得了什麼噁心病症的人，卻不想好起來。 連我的痛苦都成了一種快樂。
Then he got up to go, and I knew if he left, I'd never see him again, so I seized the revolver and fired, heard a cry, and I knew I'd hit him. He staggered toward the veranda, and I ran after him and fired and fired and fired. There's no excuse for me. I don't deserve to live.
然後他起身要走，我知道他這一走，我就再也見不到他了， 於是我抓起左輪手槍開了槍， 聽見一聲叫喊，我知道打中了他。 他踉踉蹌蹌朝遊廊走去，我追上去，一槍又一槍地打。 我沒有任何藉口。 我不配活著。
下一章 · 15good sport不掃興的人這場戲：盛裝出席慶功酒會意思是「愛上某人、與某人相戀」，強調一種持續的感情狀態。萊斯利用它說 It means that I was in love with Geoff Hammond，就是承認自己愛上了哈蒙德。
可以說 I'm sick and tired of it。sick and tired of 就是「受夠了、厭煩透頂」，比只說 tired of 情緒更重，用來抱怨長期受不了的事最合適。
它表示「情緒失控、不能自已」，常和 be 連用，比如 I was beside myself。多形容太生氣、太擔心或太激動，並不是字面上的「在我旁邊」。
不完全是。at peace 常指「心裡安寧、踏實」，說一個人內心沒有愧疚和煎熬。萊斯利用它說自己沒有一刻安寧，用得很準。
可以說 There's no excuse for me。excuse 在這裡是「藉口、辯解」，no excuse for 就是「沒有藉口、無可辯解」，認錯道歉時用得上。
