Chapter 19 of 22 · 3'55"
The witness finishes examination-in-chief, repeating that she said "No. Stop." Richard sits down, pleased. She already knows "this next part, it is where the real work is done." Then the defence rises for "the cross-examination by the best QC money can buy," and Richard is "in the dark" with her.
❝ Monologue · 5 lines She Said No and Still Wasn't Clear
❝ Monologue · 6 lines This Is Where the Real Work Starts
Even Her Counsel Is in the Dark
In court, the witness finishes her account of the night: she said "No. Stop." and tried to push him away, then froze. Richard sits, pleased. Her mother has not moved. The defence counsel stands, and the answers shatter into yes, no, and I don't know. Richard objects and is overruled, and he is in the dark with her.
She opens by insisting she knows what happened, and admits she is not "as clear as I need to be." Asked where her limbs were and whether she made it clear she was not consenting, she reaches "No. Stop." and a push, then "I froze" and "Dissociation." Richard finishes the examination-in-chief "pleased," and she is "alone again." Adam's email, hinting at something else about Julian, is dismissed as hearsay, "Not admissible." She never called, and shame is the reason she gives. Her mother sits frozen: "She hasn't moved a muscle." Then "the best QC money can buy" stands. Answers break into yes, no, and "maybe eight." Richard objects and is overruled. It goes on: "I vomited," "I did like him at the time." He looks worried. She feels the major defence arguments coming, and "Richard is in the dark as much as I am." The counsel who just seemed in control cannot see the next blow. The real work has started.
A1–C2 is the CEFR scale. Cards above the level you pick fade, and playback will not auto-pause on them.
“I try to explain to Richard, but I'm not as clear as I need to be.”
She measures her explanation against the clarity she knew was required, and comes up short.
Neutral
“'Yes. I did. I said, "No. Stop." I tried to push him away.' Didn't I?”
A string of firm yeses turns, at the last two words, into a check she aims at herself.
Informal
“Check Mum. She hasn't moved a muscle.”
The order to look is tiny, and then the idiom locks her mother into total stillness.
Informal
“And I know, more than anyone, this next part, it is where the real work is done.”
She singles out the next part and names it as the stretch that will actually count.
literary
“This is it – the cross-examination by the best QC money can buy.”
Two short words warn you, and everything after the dash is the price of the person about to speak.
Neutral
“Richard is in the dark as much as I am.”
She puts Richard on the same footing as herself, so his seat no longer means he can see further.
Informal
It's happening even now. More questions. More details. More humiliation. This is me, giving my testimony in court. Final question from Richard. He sits down, smiles at me, pleased with the examination-in-chief. It's gone well.
I never did. Why? Why didn't I reach out to Adam? Was I ashamed? Yes. Check Mum. She hasn't moved a muscle. Beach bag clutched on her lap, young officer by her side. Waiting. And I know, more than anyone, this next part, it is where the real work is done.
Up next · 20fall for itThe scene: Tessa Remembers on the StandShe tells the court she said "No. Stop.", tried to push him away, could hardly breathe, froze, and felt shock and dissociation. The questions still ask where each limb was and what she was thinking. She knows the night and cannot make it come out at the level the court wants.
Richard's examination-in-chief has just ended. He sits down, pleased, and she says it has gone well. She is alone again, and she says she knows, more than anyone, that the next part is where the real work is done. That next part is the defence counsel standing up.
Adam wrote that he believed her, hinted that Julian had had another experience, "not as serious," and told her to call if she needed him. She says she never did. She asks herself why, and answers: "Was I ashamed? Yes."
He is on his feet because she has already given evidence on that point. The reply she hears is "Overruled." She feels hot, the questions continue, and later he stands again, looking worried, while she cannot follow.
The major defence arguments have not been made yet, but she can feel them coming. She says Richard is in the dark as much as she is, and her eyes move from his face to the QC's face and back.
