再来一次（性）——亲密关系里的委婉玩笑，正式场合别用
Don't even tell me you want to do it again.Chasing Amy · 1997 — 第 11 / 20 章 · 2'54" · C1
亲密后追问选择理由：on my own terms
亲密之后，一句 Don't even tell me you want to do it again（别告诉我你还想再来一次）先把玩笑挑开，接着有人追问「为什么是我？为什么是现在？」；回答落在 on my own terms（按自己的方式）：这一步是自己想清楚走到的。
发生了什么
两个人亲密后，一方问「为什么是我？为什么是现在？」，还点出对方喜欢的是女孩。回答的人承认「以前是的」，接着说，被朋友 ostracized（被排斥、被排挤）之后反而有时间把这事想清楚；这份感情不是家庭、社会或生活灌输的结果，而是 on my own terms（按自己的方式）走到这一步。回答的人还说，把自己封闭起来、排除同性里的可能，等于 halve your options（把选择砍掉一半），太傻；遇到那个 just gets you（真正懂你）的人太难得，所以按自己的方式走到这里，make all the difference（让一切大不相同）。
这场戏看什么
- 注意她先用性玩笑挡，再转认真
- 留意 Still am 这类短插话的节奏
- 看她用因果链把选择讲成论证
留意这几个短语
halve your optionsostracizedcome up withon my own terms
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此刻
本章短语
on my own terms
按自己的方式by my own rules
on my own terms（按自己的方式）是她整段解释的支点：不是被家庭、社会或朋友推着走，也不是为了反抗而反抗，而是自己定条件、自己承担选择。
She returned to work on her own terms.她按自己的方式回到了工作岗位。
本章还有
- halve your options
把选择砍掉一半
- ostracized
被排斥、被排挤
- come up with
想出、提出
- from day one
从一开始
- put a ceiling on
给某事设上限
本章全部批注
38 句台词里标了 30 处
用那种眼神看某人 这里指带性意味的注视
Well, because you were givin' me that look and I got all wet.got all 快说时连成一串，t 轻碰 a 滑到 wet。
Well, because you were givin' me that look and I got all wet.动了情/湿了——成人调情用语，陌生人或职场别用
Well, because you were givin' me that look and I got all wet.对某事反复考虑过
Well, I've given that a lot of thought, you know.考虑某事
Now that I'm being ostracized by my friends, I've had plenty of time to think about it.被朋友排斥在外
Now that I'm being ostracized by my friends, I've had plenty of time to think about it.原因状语从句：Now that 引出已成事实的原因，等于「既然/由于被朋友排斥」。
Now that I'm being ostracized by my friends, I've had plenty of time to think about it.想出、提出
她把长时间思考后的结论说成 what I've come up with，语气像先卖个关子，再把复杂推理压成一句简单答案。
And what I've come up with is really simple.按自己的方式
on my own terms（按自己的方式）是她整段解释的支点：不是被家庭、社会或朋友推着走，也不是为了反抗而反抗，而是自己定条件、自己承担选择。
I came to this on my own terms.那一类说法/事情
You know, I didn't just heed what I was taught: Men and women should be together, it's the natural way, that kind of thing.天经地义的做法
You know, I didn't just heed what I was taught: Men and women should be together, it's the natural way, that kind of thing.宾语从句：what I was taught 作 heed 的宾语，等于「我被教的那一套」。
You know, I didn't just heed what I was taught: Men and women should be together, it's the natural way, that kind of thing.didn't just 两个 t 别咬死，留个短顿滑过去。
You know, I didn't just heed what I was taught: Men and women should be together, it's the natural way, that kind of thing.从一开始
她讲家庭和社会怎样把‘男女应该在一起’灌给她，from day one 把这种影响推到最早的时候，语气不是抱怨，而是把来路说清楚。
tried to instill in me from day one.现实本来的样子
The way the world is, how seldom it is that you meet that one person who...重音压 seldom，it is 很轻，别逐词念清。
The way the world is, how seldom it is that you meet that one person who...给我树立的榜样
There were no examples set for me in the world of male-female relationships.把自己与…隔绝
And to cut oneself off from flnding that person...把选择砍掉一半
讲选择时，一句 halve your options（把选择砍掉一半）把抽象的自我限制说成算术：每排除一种可能，机会就少一半。
to immediately halve your options by eliminating the possibility...爱上某人
And while I was falling for you I put a ceiling on that, because you were a guy.给某事设上限 这里指限制自己动情的可能
And while I was falling for you I put a ceiling on that, because you were a guy.向某事敞开可能
Until I remembered why I opened the door to women in the flrst place: To not limit the likelihood of flnding that one person who'd...起初/原本
Until I remembered why I opened the door to women in the flrst place: To not limit the likelihood of flnding that one person who'd...与某人互补
complement me so completely.分词短语：lying in your arms 说明她觉得理直气壮的情境，不是进行时。
And I feel justifled lying in your arms...毫不怀疑
'cause I got here on my own terms, and I have no question there was someplace I didn't look.定语从句：someplace 后省略 that，I didn't look 修饰它，指没找过的地方。
'cause I got here on my own terms, and I have no question there was someplace I didn't look.让一切大不相同
make all the difference（让一切大不相同）是整段解释的收束：别人可能只看条件，她只看自己是不是按自己的方式走到这一步；这句话把前面所有理由压成一个判断。
For me that makes all the difference.makes all the 快说时黏在一起，重音留给 all。
For me that makes all the difference.看懂「亲密后追问选择理由」
发音重点
- got all wet — got all 快说时连成一串，t 轻碰 a 滑到 wet。
- didn't just — didn't just 两个 t 别咬死，留个短顿滑过去。
- how seldom it is — 重音压 seldom，it is 很轻，别逐词念清。
- makes all the — makes all the 快说时黏在一起，重音留给 all。
I came to this on my own terms.我是按自己的方式走到这一步的。 把主动选择压进一个合同式短语，独立、冷静，又带一点自嘲。
I was thorough when I looked for you.我找你的时候，可是找得很彻底。 把深情说成搜查式认真，既好笑又真诚，像在总结一场漫长寻找。
There were no examples set for me in the world of male-female relationships.在男女关系这件事上，没有人给我树立过榜样。 承认缺失而不自怜，把家庭空缺说成一张没有范本的地图。
For me that makes all the difference.对我来说，这一点让一切都不一样。 短句收束整段长论证，把私人标准放在别人评价之上。
关于这一章的问题
on my own terms 是什么意思？
意思是「按自己的方式」，指某个选择不是被外界推着走，而是自己认下、自己走到这一步。台词里说 I came to this on my own terms，就是「我是按自己的方式走到这一步的」。
「被排斥、被排挤」英语怎么说？
用 ostracized。台词里说 Now that I'm being ostracized by my friends，意思是朋友们都躲着、排斥自己。
put a ceiling on 在这里是什么意思？
是「给某事设上限」。台词里说 falling for you（爱上你）的时候 put a ceiling on that，因为对方是男的，等于给这份感情划了条界线。
from day one 怎么理解？
就是「从一开始」。台词里说那些观念 tried to instill in me from day one，意思是家人、社会、生活从出生起就不断把这些观念灌输给她。
make all the difference 是什么意思？
意思是「让一切大不相同」。台词末尾说 For me that makes all the difference，强调按自己的方式走到这一步，对说话的人意义完全不同。
寻找艾米 · 共 20 章
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下一章 · 第 12 章pulling your chain为一个外号吵翻
第 1 章station in life签售会上被叫描图的
第 2 章chickens come home to roost漫展座谈为星战吵翻
第 3 章beyond the shadow of a doubt酒吧里为阿奇漫画吵翻
第 4 章hook someone up朋友来电邀约去俱乐部
第 5 章small world酒吧初遇聊出缘分
第 6 章baggage为性事定义吵翻
第 7 章up close and personal为童贞定义抬杠
第 8 章throw down the gauntlet好友逼问这段关系
第 9 章queer our friendship停下后长篇表白
第 10 章the other shoe's gonna drop朋友为沙发和新恋情翻脸
正在看 · 第 11 章on my own terms亲密后追问选择理由
第 12 章pulling your chain为一个外号吵翻
第 13 章barkin' up the wrong tree签名会上劝他问过去
第 14 章badgering a witness看球时盘问对方过去
第 15 章lay a guilt trip on someone当众摊牌旧情史
第 16 章has a past餐桌旁聊她的过去
第 17 章drops the bomb on me讲旧爱听到三人行
第 18 章kill two birds with one stone三人被叫来听三人行提议
第 19 章hung up on拒绝三人行提议
第 20 章better off without签售桌旁聊散伙看到第 11 / 20 章 · 后面还有约 34 分钟