the salt of the Earth厚道的大好人

I started working when I was 11. By 25, I could feel the end of my career coming. I thought, "What happens now?" "What will be my life?" I was terrified. And so I made an error of youth. Some of the girls were lucky. They had fallen in love, but not me. Not once. Even though I had been all over the world and I had met everyone. That spring, I was introduced to Valery. He was then just as he is now. Solid. Substantial. And good. "The salt of the Earth," as Americans like to say. I felt a great affection for him. A great respect. That is a kind of love. I thought it was the only kind I would ever know. I didn't believe enough. I didn't believe in love. 8 years later I discovered that I should have. It has stunned me, this new happiness which came out of nowhere. This secret door that has opened in me. I have never felt so alive... as when I am in your arms. It is tempting, so tempting to forget about everything and just accept this gift. But I cannot. And not because I don't believe that you would be a marvelous stepfather to Marc and Elodie. And a wonderful father to the children we might have had together. Not because of lifestyle or the difference in our ages or the opinions of others. When Valery and I married, we wrote our own vows. He has always kept his promise and I feel I must keep mine. But it's more than a matter of honor. One day, Brian, when you have children you'll understand that to leave them is to leave yourself. And to injure them, unthinkable. I told you, I'm an old-fashioned girl. Please do not try to contact me. It will not change anything. I am so sad to say goodbye. To be parted. I can't believe it, really. We had so many adventures still ahead of us. Maybe... if we had had more time I would have found something about you I didn't like, really couldn't stand which would be very useful right now. But I doubt it. They say that no love is perfect. But then, they never met you.

我11歲就開始工作了。 到25歲，我已經能感覺到職業生涯快到頭了。 我想，“接下來會怎樣？” “我的人生會是什麼樣？” 我嚇壞了。 於是我犯了個年輕人常犯的錯。 有些姑娘是幸運的。 她們遇上了愛情，可我沒有。一次都沒有。 儘管我走遍了世界，見過形形色色的人。 那年春天，有人把瓦萊麗介紹給了我。 他那時和現在一個樣。 踏實。可靠。而且善良。 就像美國人愛說的，是“人間的鹽”——最厚道的那種人。 我對他懷著很深的感情。 很深的敬重。 那也是一種愛。 我以為那會是我這輩子唯一懂得的一種愛。 我的信念不夠。 我不相信愛情。 八年後我才發現，我本該相信的。 這份憑空降臨的新幸福，讓我恍然。 像心裡開了一扇隱秘的門。 我從未如此鮮活…… 像在你懷裡時那樣。 真想把一切拋在腦後，就這麼接受這份禮物，太誘人了。 但我做不到。 並不是因為我不信你會成為馬克和艾洛蒂極好的繼父。 也不是不信，你會是個好父親——給我們本可以生下的孩子。 不是因為生活方式、年齡差距，或者別人的閒話。 瓦萊麗和我結婚時，我們寫了自己的誓詞。 他一直信守承諾，我覺得我也必須守我的。 但這不只是信義的問題。 布萊恩，總有一天你有了孩子就會明白，拋下他們，就等於拋下你自己。 而傷害他們，想都不敢想。 我跟你說過，我是個老派的女人。 請不要再來找我。 一切都不會改變。 說再見，我難過極了。 要分開。 我還是難以相信。 我們前頭本來還有那麼多冒險。 也許……要是時間再多一點，我會在你身上找到些我不喜歡、實在受不了的地方，那現在可就管用了。 但我看未必。 人們說沒有哪份愛是完美的。 可他們沒遇見過你。