“Would you kindly explain what the deuce this item means?”
Why it's great
It wraps a challenge in the word kindly, so the politeness itself becomes the pressure.
Register
Formal
Use it yourself
Would you kindly explain what this charge means?
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00:00 / 03:13
Candy Audits the Nursing Home Bill, Explained
The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp · 1943
Chapter 13 of 30 · 3'13"
Candy goes through the nursing-home accounts and finds an item for forty packs of playing cards, demanding to know "what the deuce" it means. The talk moves to tickets, refunds and packing — and then to Edith, who is crying as the group prepares to leave Berlin.
Key moments
Start here, then watch the full scene- 0:02–0:33
Forty Packs of Playing Cards
31s - 1:05–1:37
Edith Can't Stop Crying
32s
Candy Audits the Nursing Home Bill, explained
What happens
At the Embassy, Candy inspects the nursing-home accounts and is baffled by a bill for forty packs of playing cards. The conversation turns to Miss Hunter's return to England, Candy's expired ticket, and a refund at Cook's. Packing is under way when Edith starts crying, and Candy does his awkward best to comfort her.
What's really going on
The chapter opens as comedy and slides into something sadder. Candy, ever the accountant of honour, is scandalised by forty packs of playing cards on a nursing-home bill — "Would you kindly explain what the deuce this item means?" — and the pettiness of the complaint tells you what kind of man he is. Underneath the bookkeeping, everyone is quietly rearranging their lives: Miss Hunter is going home, Candy's ticket has expired, and Theo is still in the picture. When Edith cries, Candy reaches for the only comfort he owns, a promise of the theatre and a brisk "Keep your hair on." His kindness and his blindness are the same thing: he cannot see what she is really upset about.
Key lines & what they mean
- “Would you kindly explain what the deuce this item means?”
- The complaint that opens the scene: a genteel way of demanding an explanation for the absurd card bill, scolding without raising his voice.
- “Well, don't catch a cold. These nursing homes are an expensive business.”
- A joke with a bill attached: even when being kind, Candy reminds everyone that caring for the wounded costs money.
- “It's not my fault if you don't like horses, is it?”
- An argument about nothing: the speaker defends a visit to the stables, which is really an excuse for not having called for Edith.
- “I say, old girl, do stop crying. Suppose somebody came in.”
- The comfort of a man afraid of scenes: he wants the tears stopped less out of tenderness than because someone might walk in.
Theme
- Money — The scene measures affection in bills and tickets: the same man who counts every penny cannot read the tears in front of him.
- Heartbreak — Edith's tears cut through the bookkeeping, signalling a private grief the men around her refuse to name.
What this chapter teaches
Teaching points
Review right after watchingMy level3/6
A1–C2 is the CEFR scale. Cards above the level you pick fade, and playback will not auto-pause on them.
Language points
Click a card to jump to its moment in the videoGolden lines
A great line in its own right — why and how to use it“Well, don't catch a cold. These nursing homes are an expensive business.”
Why it's great
It cares about the person first and the cost second, so the warning still sounds warm.
Register
Neutral
Use it yourself
Don't catch a cold. Winter holidays are an expensive business.
“It's not my fault if you don't like horses, is it?”
Why it's great
The tag question shifts all the blame back at the other person while pretending to be fair.
Register
Informal
Use it yourself
It's not my fault if you hate spreadsheets, is it?
“I say, old girl, do stop crying. Suppose somebody came in.”
Why it's great
It asks her to stop for the sake of appearances, which is exactly how stiff upper lips sound.
Register
Neutral
Use it yourself
Do stop pacing, Suppose the client walked in now.
Up next · 14cuckooThe scene: Theo Tries to Confess His LoveTakeaways
What you walk away with- Keep your hair on means calm down, playfully.
- As far as I know marks a careful guess.
- Catch a cold is caring first, counting costs second.
- What the deuce hides real anger behind old politeness.
People also search
Questions, then the linesWhy is Candy upset about the card bill?
Because the nursing-home accounts show forty packs of playing cards, which he considers an outrageous expense. Baby-Face explains they were bought because the evenings at Stolpchensee were so long.
What happens to Candy's old return ticket?
It has expired. He is told to buy a new one, and to hand over the old ticket so they can claim a refund at Cook's.
Why is Edith crying?
The scene does not spell it out in words, but the group is scattering: she is returning to England, Theo is at the hospital, and the parting is clearly upsetting her.
How does Candy try to comfort Edith?
With practical cheerfulness. He promises to take her out on their first night back in London, to a show at Her Majesty's Theatre, and tells her to stop crying in case someone comes in.
Who is Theo, and why does he matter here?
Theo is Kretschmar-Schuldorff, the German officer from the duel. He is still around the fringes of the scene, returning books and asking about Edith, which deepens the sense of things ending.