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Slacker · 1990 — 第 20 / 22 章 · 2'47" · B2

Talking About the Fear of Rejection, Explained：ebb and flow

One woman says she is the happiest she has been in years and that she has conquered the fear of rejection. Another refuses to believe anyone can escape it, calling it primal and saying people always enslave themselves. Then a friend invites them to a band's show.

あらすじ

A woman back from Europe describes feeling like a whole person after a break-up, calling this the happiest she has been in a long time. Someone else argues that no one escapes the fear of rejection, and that people enslave themselves through work, love or children. Then friends invite them to a gig.

Small talkConfessingExplainingFriendsB2fastamericanClean
IMDb ↗

注目の表現

the furthest thing from my mindebb and flowtrade-offbuy that

00:00 / 02:47
Space 再生 · ← → セリフ移動 · R リピート
いま
  12. ❝ 独白the breakup monologue9 行練習ページ ↗
  28. ❝ 独白the case against happiness7 行練習ページ ↗
セリフをタップするとそこから再生

このシーンの表現

ebb and flow

a rise and fall pattern

She describes the calm after a breakup giving way to a restless rise and fall of feelings.

Relationships have their ebb and flow.

このシーンの他の表現

  • the furthest thing from my mind

    not on my mind at all

  • trade-off

    a balance of gains and losses

  • buy that

    believe that claim

  • scrap heap

    the place for discarded things

  • guest list

    the names allowed in free

このシーンのメモ一覧

53 行のセリフに 31 件のメモ

表現 · A2have a great time

enjoy oneself

I heard you had a really great time in Europe.
表現 · A2be glad to be back

happy to return

- Are you glad to be back? - Yeah, it was incredible.
表現 · B1feel the need to do something

feel a strong urge to

I really felt the need to get out of this town.
表現 · B1a two-year relationship

a relationship of two years

I'd just ended this two-year relationship with this guy.
表現 · B1look back on something

review in hindsight

And now that I look back on it, it was really terrible.
表現 · B1things are rolling

things are going well

But now that I'm back, things are rolling for me.
表現 · B1in a long time

for a long while

I think I can honestly say I'm the happiest I've been in a long time.
文法 · B2the happiest I've been

relative clause without that: An unmarked relative clause describes the happiest, showing the peak of the feeling.

I think I can honestly say I'm the happiest I've been in a long time.
表現 · B2feel like a whole person

feel complete again

A lot of times I leave a relationship and I feel like a whole person again.
文法 · B2after we've decided that

time clause: The after-clause holds another that-clause, so two layers nest in one sentence.

It seems like after we've decided that we need one another to be happy...
表現 · A2all the time

constantly

I'm wondering, worrying all the time.
表現 · C1something looms

rejection feels near

It seems like rejection looms, ever-present.
文法 · C1ever-present

postpositive adjective: The adjective sits after the noun to stress that rejection never goes away.

It seems like rejection looms, ever-present.
表現 · A2be scared of something

afraid of

Rejection. That's one thing I'm not scared of anymore.
表現 · B2conquer the fear of something

overcome the fear of

I've conquered the fear of rejection.
表現 · B1let something bother you

allow it to upset you

So how could you let it bother you?
発音let it bother

Link let, it and bother into one smooth run.

So how could you let it bother you?
表現 · C1enslave oneself

trap ourselves

We're always trying to enslave ourselves one way or another.
表現 · B1kind of doing something

just chatting

- What are you guys up to tonight? - Not much. Just kind of talking.
発音kind of

Kind of usually weakens into kinda in fast speech.

- What are you guys up to tonight? - Not much. Just kind of talking.
スラング · B1hangin'

hanging around — Very casual; write hanging out in formal text.

Just kind ofhangin'out? You remember...
表現 · A2be interested in something

want to take part

if some other people might be interested.
表現 · B2hint, hint

a nudge, clearly implied

- Hint, hint, you know? - Do y'all wanna go?
スラング · B1y'all

you all — Southern US speech; keep it out of formal talk.

- Hint, hint, you know? - Do y'all wanna go?
表現 · A2have a beer

drink a beer

We could maybe have a beer or- - Sounds fun to me. - I'm not forcing you or nothing.
文法 · B2I'm not forcing you or nothing

double negative: The double negative adds emphasis; standard English would keep only not.

We could maybe have a beer or- - Sounds fun to me. - I'm not forcing you or nothing.
スラング · B2or nothing

emphasis in a double negative — Casual double-negative emphasis; not for formal use.

We could maybe have a beer or- - Sounds fun to me. - I'm not forcing you or nothing.
表現 · A2check something out

go and see

We can go check it out. We could always go to a movie later.
表現 · A1go to a movie

see a film

We can go check it out. We could always go to a movie later.
発音check it out

Link check, it and out so they sound like one word.

We can go check it out. We could always go to a movie later.
スラング · A2gotta

have got to — Everyday speech only; avoid in writing.

- So we gotta like totally roll. - Do you have a car?

「Talking About the Fear of Rejection」を読み解く

What's really going on

The scene is a conversation about whether you can decide to stop being afraid. One woman has just come back from a trip and is enjoying the high that follows a break-up: "I've conquered the fear of rejection." The other will not let her have it, and the argument he makes is the film's own view: the fear is "a real primal thing" that nobody escapes. His explanation is that people always look for something to be bound by, and that stability is not the natural state. It is a bleak idea, but it is stated without malice, and his final line, "You can always be thrown on the scrap heap," is both a warning and a kind of compliment. Then the film moves on to a party invitation, as if the whole exchange had been small talk.

Theme

RomanceThe talk begins with the relief after a break-up and turns into a debate about whether love is always shadowed by the fear of being rejected.
PhilosophyOne speaker argues that freedom is impossible, because people always bind themselves to work, love or children.

このチャプターで学べること

  • Naming a trade-off can calm a fear of rejection.
  • Her friend trusts instinct over self-help claims.
  • A guest list is social currency at the door.
  • Optimism here is always answered with a warning.

発音のポイント

  • let it bother — Link let, it and bother into one smooth run.
  • kind of — Kind of usually weakens into kinda in fast speech.
  • check it out — Link check, it and out so they sound like one word.
I think I can honestly say I'm the happiest I've been in a long time.

Her declaration of happiness, which is real but also the kind of high that tends to have a comedown built into it.

I've conquered the fear of rejection.

The claim the rest of the conversation is built to challenge: she treats the fear as a problem that can be solved once and for all.

Just be prepared. You can always be thrown on the scrap heap.

His parting advice, which sounds cruel and is also honest: the happiness she describes can be taken away without warning.

We're always trying to enslave ourselves one way or another.

His theory of why the fear never goes away: people need something to belong to, so they hand over their freedom themselves.

このシーンについての質問

Why does the woman say she is the happiest she has been?

She has just come back from Europe and ended a two-year relationship, and she feels like a whole person again. She says meeting someone new is the furthest thing from her mind.

Why doesn't the other person believe her?

He thinks the fear of rejection is primal and cannot be escaped. He says people always find a way to enslave themselves, through careers, relationships or children.

What does 'buy that' mean here?

It is an informal way of saying accept or believe a claim. He says he does not buy her idea that the fear can simply be conquered.

What warning does he give her?

That happiness is not permanent and she could be thrown on the scrap heap at any time. He tells her to enjoy it but be prepared.

What happens after this conversation?

Friends arrive and invite them to a show where a roommate's band is playing. The talk ends and everyone heads off to the gig.

スラッカー · 全 22 章

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第 20 / 22 章 · 残り約 7 分