have discussed this
Well, um — We haven't talked about this yet, but are you dating anyone?before-sunrise-1995 · 1995 — Chapter 12 of 20 · 2'19" · B2
Asking About an Ex-Boyfriend, Explained: a real prizewinner
The questions start casually — is anyone waiting back in Paris? — then turn into a confession. 'I'm not that sorry. But tell me about him' turns an apology into curiosity. What follows is a funny account of a breakup, a bad ex, a shrink who said she had to call the police, and a fear that does not go away.
What happens
Two people are getting to know each other, and the conversation turns to dating. One asks whether anyone is waiting back in Paris. The answer: no, not right now — but there was someone until six months ago. The story that follows covers a bad ex, a shrink, and a murder story.
Listen for
not that sorrya real prizewinnershrinkit came up that
00:00 / 02:19Space play · ← → lines · R repeat
Now
Phrase of the scene
a real prizewinner
sarcastic: a real piece of work
The prize-like label comes right after a list of flaws; it sounds like praise but is sarcastic.
My new landlord is a real prizewinner—he fixed the sink with tape.
Also in this scene
- not that sorry
not really that sorry; not very sorry
- shrink
therapist; psychiatrist, informally
- it came up that
it came up in conversation that...
- out of her mind
completely crazy; not thinking clearly
- blocking his artistic expression
getting in the way of his creative expression
Everything marked in this scene
32 notes across 38 lines
seeing someone romantically
Well, um — We haven't talked about this yet, but are you dating anyone?waiting for you here 'wait on' means wait for
You got a boyfriend waiting on you back in Paris or anything like that?or something similar
You got a boyfriend waiting on you back in Paris or anything like that?Keep 'on you' light and hurry into the next phrase; stress 'waiting'.
You got a boyfriend waiting on you back in Paris or anything like that?end a romantic relationship
We broke up about six months ago.tell me about him
I mean, I'm not that sorry. But tell me about him.In fast speech the h in 'him' can disappear; listen for the end of 'about'.
I mean, I'm not that sorry. But tell me about him.no chance; absolutely not — Fine with friends; too casual for formal writing.
Oh, no. No way. I can't.continue for some time
I thought this one would last for a while.poor in bed; bad at sex — Private relationship talk only; avoid in formal or unfamiliar company.
I mean, he was very stupid, ugly, bad in bed, alcoholic, you know.doing him a favor the standard collocation is usually 'do someone a favor'
- A real prizewinner. - Yeah. (laughing) I was kind of giving him a favor, but he left me, saying I loved him too much and, yougetting in the way of his creative expression
The ex is said to have left because the speaker loved him too much and was 'blocking his artistic expression.'
know, I was blocking his artistic expression and stuff.vulgar: stuff like that — Casual venting only; vulgar in most workplaces.
Shit like that, you know.fixated on him
But anyway, I was traumatized and became — (sighs) And became totally obsessed with him.it came up in conversation that...
While describing the therapy session, the line uses 'it came up that' to introduce the story the speaker had written.
And so I went to see this shrink, you know, and it came up that I had writtensubject clause: The 'it' is a placeholder; the real information arrives in the that-clause.
And so I went to see this shrink, you know, and it came up that I had writtentherapist; psychiatrist, informally — Fine in casual talk; use therapist in formal contexts.
And so I went to see this shrink, you know, and it came up that I had writtencomplicated small details
and how she was gonna do it, you know, all the intricate details.be caught
- How to do it and not get caught. - She was gonna kill her boyfriend?the first time I saw her
It was my first time seeing her.call the police
- She said she had to call the police. - She had to call the police?completely sure
She was — Merde! She was totally convinced I was really gonna do it.French swear: damn/shit — A French swear for frustration; avoid in polite company.
She was — Merde! She was totally convinced I was really gonna do it.explained it to her
Even though I'd explained to her it was just some writing and stuff.concession clause: The concession sets up what she said against what the therapist still believed.
Even though I'd explained to her it was just some writing and stuff.the first and final one
It was my first and last session.recovered from him emotionally
The speaker claims to be completely over him, then immediately reveals a new obsession with his possible death.
I totally got over him, you know.die in an accident
But now I'm obsessed that he's gonna die from an accident a thousand kilometers away.Let 'from an' run together; do not pause between them.
But now I'm obsessed that he's gonna die from an accident a thousand kilometers away.relative clause: The clause after people explains exactly which people she means.
Why is it you become obsessed with people you don't really like that much?The t in 'don't' can be lightly dropped before 'really'; stress 'really'.
Why is it you become obsessed with people you don't really like that much?Asking About an Ex-Boyfriend, explained
What's really going on
The scene looks like small talk about exes, but it is a test of how much honesty is allowed this early. The question about dating is practical; the follow-up — 'I'm not that sorry. But tell me about him' — admits the interest behind the politeness. The answer keeps sliding between joke and wound: the ex is 'very stupid, ugly, bad in bed, alcoholic,' a 'real prizewinner,' and then, without a pause, the admission of being 'totally obsessed with him.' The shrink story turns that obsession into comedy, but the last lines give it away: the speaker has 'got over him' and now fears he will die far away and that the speaker will be the one accused. The laughter is real; so is the thing it covers.
Theme
HeartbreakThe scene treats heartbreak as something to joke about first: the ex is a 'prizewinner,' yet the fear of his death lingers.
Dark humorA murder story and a shrink who wants to call the police are played for laughs, letting the speaker circle the feeling without naming it.
Listen for
- on you — Keep 'on you' light and hurry into the next phrase; stress 'waiting'.
- about him — In fast speech the h in 'him' can disappear; listen for the end of 'about'.
- from an — Let 'from an' run together; do not pause between them.
- don't really — The t in 'don't' can be lightly dropped before 'really'; stress 'really'.
I mean, I'm not that sorry. But tell me about him.A polite apology is immediately undercut: the speaker is not really sorry about the breakup and wants the story. Curiosity wins over tact.
I thought this one would last for a while.The speaker expected this relationship to last, which makes its failure more disappointing than the jokes suggest.
It was my first and last session.The line says the first visit was also the last; no second session follows the story.
But now I'm obsessed that he's gonna die from an accident a thousand kilometers away.Having said they got over him, the speaker now dreads a distant accident — and being the one accused.
Why is it you become obsessed with people you don't really like that much?The scene ends on a question rather than an answer: obsession does not follow like or dislike.
Questions about this scene
Why does the ex's reason for leaving sound so absurd?
The speaker jokes 'I was kind of giving him a favor,' yet he left anyway, saying she loved him too much and was 'blocking his artistic expression.' The speaker waves it off as 'shit like that.'
Is the speaker really over the ex?
The line says 'I totally got over him,' but the next line adds that the speaker is now 'obsessed' that he will die in an accident far away and that the speaker will be the one accused. Both statements are left standing.
What happened at the first session with the shrink?
The speaker described a story about a woman trying to kill her boyfriend, including how to do it and not get caught. The shrink was 'totally convinced' and said she had to call the police; the speaker calls it 'my first and last session.'
before-sunrise-1995 · 20 chapters
All chapters →
Up next · Chapter 13let it sink inA Man Recounts His Madrid Heartbreak
Chapter 1weeks on endStrangers Trade Stories on a Train
Chapter 2the poetry of day-to-day lifePitching a Year-Long TV Show
Chapter 3passive-aggressiveTwo Passengers Talk Childhood and Death
Chapter 4a bad liarTwo Travelers Claim a Honeymoon
Chapter 5scare the hell out of someoneTwo People Play a Q&A Game
Chapter 6piss someone offStrangers Trade Pet Peeves on a Train
Chapter 7romantic projectionsTwo People Talk About Parents and Love
Chapter 8resign yourself toPalm Reading in Vienna
Chapter 9dress rehearsalChurch Talk on Death and Quakers
Chapter 10blank canvasWhat Would Drive You Mad
Chapter 11make a deal withPoet Writes a Poem for a Word
Watching · Chapter 12a real prizewinnerAsking About an Ex-Boyfriend
Chapter 13let it sink inA Man Recounts His Madrid Heartbreak
Chapter 14fool aroundTwo People Debate Men, Women and Monkeys
Chapter 15fear of commitmentBirth Dance Talk Turns to Love
Chapter 16fall for someoneThe Fake Phone Call in Vienna
Chapter 17be a ghostMan Pretends to Call a Friend
Chapter 18fizzle outTwo People Agree to One Night Only
Chapter 19sleep togetherThey Agree Not to Sleep Together
Chapter 20have a great lifeTwo Lovers Say Goodbye at Track NineChapter 12 of 20 · about 22 min to go