Before Sunrise · 1995 — Chapter 19 of 21 · 3'20" · B2
After a night together, one person admits that past beautiful moments always felt wrong because the company was wrong. The reply turns the unease inward: the person they most want to escape is themselves. "But I'm happy to be with you" lands as the fragile exception.
After a long night, two people talk at sunrise about what the night has meant. One confesses that shared beautiful moments used to feel incomplete; the other answers that self-escape is the norm. The exchange moves from self-doubt to a quiet request: "To be kissed."
Listen for
stay up all nightrational, adult decisionget away fromsick to death of
Phrase of the scene
utterly fed up with
The talk moves from people hating themselves to the reason: they are utterly fed up with their own company, delivered as if it were plain common sense.
I'm sick to death of hearing that same excuse.
remain awake all night
the supposedly sensible grown-up plan
escape or move away from
host guests at home
falsely clever or deep
30 notes across 42 lines
remain awake all night
Someone lists past beautiful moments—travel, staying up all night, watching the sunrise—as if flipping through old photos, setting up the admission that something always felt wrong.
So often in my life I've been with people and shared beautiful moments like traveling or staying up all night and watching the sunrise,In fast speech, up all can blur into one run; let the p slide into all.
So often in my life I've been with people and shared beautiful moments like traveling or staying up all night and watching the sunrise,feel glad to be with someone
But I'm happy to be with you.have no way of knowing
You couldn't possibly know why a night like this is so important to my life right now, but it is.matter greatly to someone's life
You couldn't possibly know why a night like this is so important to my life right now, but it is.embedded question: The whole why-clause is the object of know; inside it, a night is the subject and is the verb.
You couldn't possibly know why a night like this is so important to my life right now, but it is.The t in couldn't can disappear before p; stress possibly.
You couldn't possibly know why a night like this is so important to my life right now, but it is.the supposedly sensible grown-up plan
Right after 'Do you think we'll have others like this?', the reply drags in their supposedly rational, adult decision, as if grown-up language can hold back the intimacy the question just opened.
- What? - What about our rational, adult decision?wish someone were absent
I know what you mean about wishing that somebody wasn't there though.escape or move away from
The other person has just admitted wishing someone else weren't there; this line turns the feeling inward—the person they want to escape is themselves.
It's just usually, it's myself that I wish I could get away from.cleft sentence: The cleft puts myself in focus; the plain version is I wish I could get away from myself.
It's just usually, it's myself that I wish I could get away from.relative clause: The that-clause modifies anywhere, turning the line into a paradox about never escaping oneself.
I have never been anywhere that I haven't been.one of the people kissing
I've never, uh, had a kiss when I wasn't one of the kissers.go to a cinema
You know, I've never, um, gone to the movies when I wasn't there in the audience.make a silly joke
I never been out bowling if I wasn't there, you know, makin' some stupid joke.utterly fed up with
The talk moves from people hating themselves to the reason: they are utterly fed up with their own company, delivered as if it were plain common sense.
It's just that they are sick to death of being around themselves.spend time in someone's company Not standing nearby; keeping oneself company.
It's just that they are sick to death of being around themselves.In death of, of reduces to a weak beat; don't expect a full 'ov'.
It's just that they are sick to death of being around themselves.host guests at home
Someone imagines the two of them together all the time: at every gathering at home, he would feel insecure and drink a little too much—rehearsing the daily friction of intimacy.
and the way, uh — the way every time that we would have people over, uh,Keep would light; have is a full verb here, not a contraction.
and the way, uh — the way every time that we would have people over, uh,drink a bit too much
I'd be insecure and I'd get a little too drunk.Let the t in get a tap into the next vowel; keep little light.
I'd be insecure and I'd get a little too drunk.a falsely clever story
Or, uh, the way I tell the same stupid, pseudo-intellectual story again and again.gerund subject: Being with you is the subject of has made in the next line; the pause hides the subject-verb link.
being with you, uh,cause someone to feel like
has made me feel like I was somebody else.forget yourself or be absorbed
After saying that being with the other person feels like becoming someone else, he adds that the only other ways to lose yourself like that are dancing, alcohol, or drugs.
And the only other way to lose yourself like that is, um,the sole alternative way to do something Not the only way, but the only alternative mentioned.
And the only other way to lose yourself like that is, um,infinitive modifier: The infinitive phrase modifies way; the actual alternatives come after is.
And the only other way to lose yourself like that is, um,and things of that kind
drugs and stuff like that.sex; vulgar term — Vulgar; only in private adult talk, never at work.
Fucking?Underneath the quiet affection, the conversation is about whether closeness can rescue someone from themselves. One confession starts as a complaint about past company — "I wished I'd been with someone else" — but the reply flips it: "it's myself that I wish I could get away from." The jokes about never being anywhere without oneself make selfhood sound like a crowded room. Then the mood shifts: being with the other person makes the speaker feel like somebody else, and the only other ways to lose yourself like that, the speaker says, are dancing, alcohol, drugs, and, as the reply adds, sex. The final request for a kiss turns a philosophical admission into something immediate. "But I'm happy to be with you" is the emotional hinge: simple gratitude set against the earlier disappointment.
But I'm happy to be with you.After admitting past moments felt wrong, this line marks the present company as the exception: simple gratitude that cuts through the earlier disappointment.
I have never been anywhere that I haven't been.A joke about never escaping oneself: wherever one goes, one's own presence comes along.
It's just that they are sick to death of being around themselves.The line explains self-hatred as exhaustion with one's own company, not a judgment from other people.
It's just usually, it's myself that I wish I could get away from.The reply redirects the wish to escape: the person one most wants to avoid is oneself.
I think that's why so many people hate themselves. Seriously.Said after the jokes about never being absent from one's own life, it offers a plain explanation for self-hatred: constant closeness to oneself.
The speaker explains it with a joke: "I have never been anywhere that I haven't been." Wherever they go, they are still there, so the person they most want to escape is themselves.
It means thoroughly tired of. The line "they are sick to death of being around themselves" frames self-hatred as exhaustion with one's own company.
No, it marks an exception. The earlier lines say past beautiful moments felt wrong; this line says the present company is different, so the happiness sits alongside the disappointment rather than erasing it.
After the long talk about feeling like somebody else, the request makes the feeling concrete. The reply "Well, I can do that" accepts it without more explanation, turning confession into a simple action.
The examples all make the same point: they were always present as themselves. Even ordinary fun cannot be experienced from outside their own point of view, which is why the joke leads to "so many people hate themselves."
Up next · Chapter 20sleep togetherThey Agree Not to Sleep Together
Chapter 1weeks on endStrangers Trade Stories on a Train
Chapter 2the poetry of day-to-day lifePitching a Year-Long TV Show
Chapter 3passive-aggressiveTwo Passengers Talk Childhood and Death
Chapter 4a bad liarTwo Travelers Claim a Honeymoon
Chapter 5scare the hell out of someoneTwo People Play a Q&A Game
Chapter 6piss someone offStrangers Trade Pet Peeves on a Train
Chapter 7romantic projectionsTwo People Talk About Parents and Love
Chapter 8resign yourself toPalm Reading in Vienna
Chapter 9dress rehearsalChurch Talk on Death and Quakers
Chapter 10blank canvasWhat Would Drive You Mad
Chapter 11make a deal withPoet Writes a Poem for a Word
Chapter 12a real prizewinnerAsking About an Ex-Boyfriend
Chapter 13let it sink inA Man Recounts His Madrid Heartbreak
Chapter 14fool aroundTwo People Debate Men, Women and Monkeys
Chapter 15fear of commitmentBirth Dance Talk Turns to Love
Chapter 16fall for someoneThe Fake Phone Call in Vienna
Chapter 17be a ghostMan Pretends to Call a Friend
Chapter 18fizzle outTwo People Agree to One Night Only
Watching · Chapter 19sick to death ofMorning Confession After the Night
Chapter 20sleep togetherThey Agree Not to Sleep Together
Chapter 21have a great lifeTwo Lovers Say Goodbye at Track Nine