can't stop oneself from doing or feeling something
I can't help but feeling for all those people that come here, lost or in pain, guilt,Before Sunrise · 1995 — Chapter 9 of 20 · 2'11" · B2
Church Talk on Death and Quakers, Explained: dress rehearsal
In an old church, two people trade memories and questions about religion, death, and growing up. One line rejects "most of the religious thing," yet a later line admits feeling for everyone who comes in "lost or in pain." Underneath, the talk keeps asking whether life has started or is still a rehearsal.
What happens
Inside an old church, the talk moves through religion, memory, and age. One line recalls visiting a similar church in Budapest with a grandmother, then admits feeling for people who come in lost or in pain. The talk moves to feeling like an old woman about to die, a thirteen-year-old pretending to be an adult, an old woman kissing a young boy in a Ferris wheel, and a Quaker wedding.
Listen for
can't help but feel forclose withthat's so wildlook for answers
00:00 / 02:11Space play · ← → lines · R repeat
Now
Phrase of the scene
dress rehearsal
a full practice before the real performance
The speaker makes adult life sound like a junior high play still in dress rehearsal, with no real performance yet.
Planning my first big presentation feels like a dress rehearsal for a play I barely know.
Also in this scene
- can't help but feel for
be unable to stop feeling sympathy for someone
- close with
be emotionally close to someone
- that's so wild
that's very strange or unbelievable
- look for answers
try to find explanations or direction
- congregation
the people gathered in a church
Everything marked in this scene
24 notes across 25 lines
sympathize with someone Here it means sympathy, not physical touch.
I can't help but feeling for all those people that come here, lost or in pain, guilt,suffering physically or emotionally
I can't help but feeling for all those people that come here, lost or in pain, guilt,relative clause: The relative clause narrows all those people to the ones who come to this place.
I can't help but feeling for all those people that come here, lost or in pain, guilt,In fast speech the phrase runs together; keep the t in but very light.
I can't help but feeling for all those people that come here, lost or in pain, guilt,try to find explanations or direction
In the church, the people coming in are described as looking for some kind of answers, meaning they are trying to find explanations or direction.
looking for some kind of answers.how-clause: The how-clause is the real subject; it only holds its place.
It fascinates me how a single place can join so much pain and happiness for so many generations.be emotionally close to someone
A line about visiting a church with a grandmother is followed by You close with your grandmother?, a spoken shortening of Are you close with...?
You close with your grandmother?an odd sensation or intuition
I think it's because I always have this strange feeling that I'm this very old woman, laying down, about to die.be going to do something very soon
I think it's because I always have this strange feeling that I'm this very old woman, laying down, about to die.Try linking about to into one soft unit before die.
I think it's because I always have this strange feeling that I'm this very old woman, laying down, about to die.or something similar
You know, that my life is just memories or something.very surprising — Use with friends; avoid it in formal settings.
That's so wild.have the skill to do something
I mean, I always think that I'm still this 13-year-old boy who doesn't really know how to be an adult, pretending to live my life,participle phrase: The participle adds a simultaneous layer: he lives while pretending to live.
I mean, I always think that I'm still this 13-year-old boy who doesn't really know how to be an adult, pretending to live my life,write down information to remember it
taking notes for when I'll really have to do it.a full practice before the real performance
The speaker makes adult life sound like a junior high play still in dress rehearsal, with no real performance yet.
Kind of like I'm in a dress rehearsal for a junior high play.In casual speech kind of shrinks; do not give of its full value.
Kind of like I'm in a dress rehearsal for a junior high play.sort of like — Softens a comparison in conversation; too loose for formal writing.
Kind of like I'm in a dress rehearsal for a junior high play.have some knowledge about something
Do you know anything about the Quakers — the Quaker religion?go down on one's knees
What they do is the couple comes in and they kneel down in front of the whole congregation,look at someone for a long time
and they just stare at each other.cause or impel someone to act
In the wedding description, silence is the rule; only an inward sense that God is moving someone to speak breaks it.
And nobody says a word unless they feel that God moves them to speak or say something.unless-clause: The unless-clause makes silence the rule and speaking the exception.
And nobody says a word unless they feel that God moves them to speak or say something.Church Talk on Death and Quakers, explained
What's really going on
The scene keeps sliding away from doctrine. One line says, "I reject most of the religious thing," yet a later line admits, "I can't help but feeling for all those people that come here, lost or in pain, guilt, looking for some kind of answers." What holds the talk together is not belief but a shared place: "It fascinates me how a single place can join so much pain and happiness for so many generations." Age becomes another way to ask when life will feel real. One image is a very old woman about to die, with life reduced to memories; another is a thirteen-year-old boy pretending to be an adult and taking notes. Later they mention seeing an old woman kissing a young boy in the Ferris wheel, which is a sight, not another self-description. The Quaker wedding answers with silence: nobody speaks unless someone feels moved, and after an hour or so they are married.
Theme
FaithOne line rejects 'most of the religious thing' yet still feels for people who come looking for answers, keeping belief and sympathy separate.
MemoryThe talk turns to an old woman about to die, a boy taking notes for adulthood, and a place holding generations of pain and happiness.
Listen for
- can't help but — In fast speech the phrase runs together; keep the t in but very light.
- about to — Try linking about to into one soft unit before die.
- Kind of — In casual speech kind of shrinks; do not give of its full value.
It fascinates me how a single place can join so much pain and happiness for so many generations.One building collects the grief and joy of many generations; what draws the speaker is that shared accumulation, not the doctrine.
I think it's because I always have this strange feeling that I'm this very old woman, laying down, about to die.After a question about being close with a grandmother, one line answers with a feeling of already being at the end of a life.
Kind of like I'm in a dress rehearsal for a junior high play.Adult life feels like a play still in rehearsal, with the speaker taking notes and waiting for the real thing to begin.
And nobody says a word unless they feel that God moves them to speak or say something.In a Quaker wedding, silence is the default; speech only comes when someone feels inwardly moved to break it.
And then after an hour or so of just, uh, staring at each other, they're married.After about an hour of staring at each other, they are married; the line gives no further ceremony details.
Questions about this scene
Why does one line reject religion yet still feel for the people in the church?
One line says, "I reject most of the religious thing," and a later line admits, "I can't help but feeling for all those people that come here, lost or in pain, guilt, looking for some kind of answers." The sympathy is for the people, not the doctrine.
What happens at the Quaker wedding they describe?
The couple comes in and kneels down in front of the whole congregation, then they just stare at each other. Nobody says a word unless they feel that God moves them to speak or say something, and after an hour or so they are married.
What does the Ferris wheel image refer to?
One line describes seeing an old woman kissing a young boy in the Ferris wheel. The reply is just "Right?" and "Mmm," so the scene leaves it as an image rather than explaining it.
What does "that's so wild" respond to?
It follows a line about feeling like a very old woman lying down, about to die, with life just memories. The phrase reacts to how strange and unbelievable that feeling sounds.
Before Sunrise · 20 chapters
All chapters →
Up next · Chapter 10blank canvasWhat Would Drive You Mad
Chapter 1weeks on endStrangers Trade Stories on a Train
Chapter 2the poetry of day-to-day lifePitching a Year-Long TV Show
Chapter 3passive-aggressiveTwo Passengers Talk Childhood and Death
Chapter 4a bad liarTwo Travelers Claim a Honeymoon
Chapter 5scare the hell out of someoneTwo People Play a Q&A Game
Chapter 6piss someone offStrangers Trade Pet Peeves on a Train
Chapter 7romantic projectionsTwo People Talk About Parents and Love
Chapter 8resign yourself toPalm Reading in Vienna
Watching · Chapter 9dress rehearsalChurch Talk on Death and Quakers
Chapter 10blank canvasWhat Would Drive You Mad
Chapter 11make a deal withPoet Writes a Poem for a Word
Chapter 12a real prizewinnerAsking About an Ex-Boyfriend
Chapter 13let it sink inA Man Recounts His Madrid Heartbreak
Chapter 14fool aroundTwo People Debate Men, Women and Monkeys
Chapter 15fear of commitmentBirth Dance Talk Turns to Love
Chapter 16fall for someoneThe Fake Phone Call in Vienna
Chapter 17be a ghostMan Pretends to Call a Friend
Chapter 18fizzle outTwo People Agree to One Night Only
Chapter 19sleep togetherThey Agree Not to Sleep Together
Chapter 20have a great lifeTwo Lovers Say Goodbye at Track NineChapter 9 of 20 · about 30 min to go