Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Rupert Pupkin.

That's coast-to-coast national TV...

First, Miss Long, thank you for your help at the office and for passing this on to Jerry.

Dearly beloved, when Rupert here was a student at Clifton High School...

I just wanted to inform you all reluctantly, that...

We are told to remember the idea and not the man.

Laius, proud father, speak.