这场戏：前院否认希伯来名
第 8 章 · 共 10 章 · 3'13"
街区没有别的犹太人，有人只想 fit in（混进群体不被看出来）。祖父隔着七栋房子喊 Shmuel（什穆埃尔），前院马上一句 No, he must be calling somebody else（他一定在叫别人）。怕信仰会 make me a pariah（让人变成谁都躲着的弃儿），希伯来名被当场否认，这份羞耻一直留在后来的回忆里。
❝ 独白 · 7 句 红灯下的第一记忆
画面先到，名字后补，听的人跟着往红灯走。
❝ 独白 · 13 句 祖父喊 Shmuel，他只想 fit in（混进群体不被看出来）
fit in 混进群体不被看出来there was no way 当时觉得这件事绝不可能As loud as he could 把嗓子扯到不能再响
怕 make me a pariah（被群体躲开的弃儿）才否认
too different from 跟别人差得太扎眼assimilated family 把自家特征收起来、外表跟周围一样的家庭make me a pariah 让人变成谁都躲着的弃儿ashamed of myself 为自己做过的事觉得丢人
采访问到信不信上帝，有人说到 my spiritual，立刻 not even spiritual（当场否掉刚说的词），改口落到 religious roots（信仰从家族根上长出来）。家是正统派，街区却没有犹太人，门外孩子齐声骂 the Spielbergs are dirty Jews（侮辱犹太人的骂法）。有人说 All I wanted to do was fit in（混进群体不被看出来），下一句 there was no way I could fit into anything。祖父隔着七栋房子喊 Shmuel，朋友一问 Is he talking to you，希伯来名就被否认。后文拿 Father Knows Best 对照 assimilated family（把自家特征收起来、外表跟周围一样的家庭）：宁可否认小时候接受的一切，也不要 make me a pariah（被群体躲开的弃儿）。pariah 比 lonely 更重，是被整群人躲开。
A1–C2 是欧标等级。点一个等级后，比它高的卡片会变淡，播放到那里不会自动暂停。
“And the red light was the Eternal Light, the Ner Tamid, and that's my very first memory.”
那盏红灯就是长明灯，Ner Tamid，这也是我最早的记忆。
红灯先出现，再被命名，最后收成一生最早的记忆。
那就是Y，也是我最早的Z。
讲最早记忆时可以用。正式报告里别叠两个专名。
后来我才知道那东西叫什么。 ／ 那就是我记得的第一幕。
literary
Light稍重，Tamid放轻，memory落下。
The clatter was the subway, and that is the first sound I still trust. 那阵响是地铁，也是我到现在还敢信的第一种声音。
“All I wanted to do was fit in.”
我当时唯一想做的，就是融进去。
愿望被收成一个动作，后面的排挤都从这句长出来。
我当时唯一想做的就是…
跟亲近的人说当年只求合群。对上司或刚认识的人别说满。
我当时只求跟大家一样。 ／ 我只想别被人看出来。
口语
wanted稍重，fit in收短，不要拆开。
All she wanted to do was finish lunch without one question. 她当时唯一想做的，就是安安静静吃完午饭。
“And by being Jewish, there was no way I could fit into anything.”
可正因为我是犹太人，我根本不可能融入任何地方。
身份被写成原因，no way把路堵死，和想融入对着打。
正因为是X，我没法去做Y。
私下讲某种身份如何堵死去路。不要当面给别人定性。
就因为这个身份，我哪都进不去。
中性
no way压重，后面fit into轻轻带过。
By being the intern, there was no way she could set their rules. 正因为她是实习生，规矩根本轮不到她来定。
“And I immediately denied that that was me.”
我立刻否认那就是我。
immediately卡在否认前，两个that把名字和自己劈开。
我立刻否认那个人是我。
事后向朋友承认自己当时撇清。当面抵赖或正式场合别用。
我马上说那不是在叫我。 ／ 我当场不认那是我。
口语
immediately加快，两个that别停太久。
She immediately denied that the spare key was hers. 她立刻否认那把备用钥匙是她的。
“I still feel ashamed of myself even remembering that long stretch of my life where I didn't want to be Jewish anymore.”
即使现在想起那段很长的、不想再做犹太人的日子，我仍为自己感到羞耻。
still把羞耻留到现在，光是回忆就够让它回来。
即使现在想起那段，我仍觉得…
只对信得过的人说旧事至今难堪。上台演讲别说这么裸。
那段日子我想起来还是难堪。
中性
ashamed放慢，stretch连读，anymore落下。
I still feel awkward even remembering the year I pretended not to know them. 即使现在想起那年我装不认识他们，仍觉得别扭。
Spielberg: My very first memory-- I was in a stroller. I just remember being wheeled somewhere, and my grandmother and grandfather were with me. We went into this underground space. There was a red light over a set of doors. And I just remember getting closer and closer to this red light where all these old men-- just men were all chanting something. And the red light was the Eternal Light, the Ner Tamid, and that's my very first memory.
斯皮尔伯格：我最早的记忆——我还在婴儿车里。 我只记得被人推着走，祖母和祖父跟我在一起。 我们进了这个地下的地方。 一组门上方有一盏红灯。 我只记得越来越靠近这盏红灯，那儿全是老人—— 全是男人，在吟唱什么。 那盏红灯就是不灭的长明灯，这是我最早的记忆。
Spielberg: I certainly experienced being excluded and being picked on and discriminated against. All I wanted to do was fit in. And by being Jewish, there was no way I could fit into anything. My grandfather would come over to spend a week with us, and I'd be playing in the front yard seven houses down, and my grandfather would stand on our front porch and yell my Hebrew name, "Shmuel!" As loud as he could, "Shmuel!" And all my friends would say, "Is he talking to you? That's your house." And I immediately denied that that was me. "No, he must be calling somebody else." "Is your name Shmuel?" And all my friends started laughing. "Shmuel? What's Shmuel?" And meanwhile, in the background, you can hear my grandfather yelling with a Russian accent, "Shmuel!"
斯皮尔伯格：我确实经历过被排除、被欺负、被歧视。 我只想混进去。 可因为是犹太人，我哪儿都混不进去。 祖父会过来跟我们住一周，我在前院玩， 隔着七栋房子，祖父站在我们门廊上喊我的希伯来名字：「什穆埃尔！」 用尽全力喊：「什穆埃尔！」 朋友们都说：「他在叫你吗？那是你家。」 我立刻否认那是我。 「不，他一定在叫别人。」 「你叫什穆埃尔？」 朋友们都笑起来。 「什穆埃尔？什穆埃尔是什么？」 与此同时，背景里能听见祖父带着俄国口音喊：「什穆埃尔！」
下一章 · 09top billing名字排在最前的位置这场戏：并列领衔再交旗台词里原句是 make me a pariah：一旦会变成被群体躲开的弃儿，小时候接受的一切就不再接受。它比 lonely 更重，不是独自一人，而是整群人把你躲开。前院连希伯来名 Shmuel 都否认，就是怕走到这一步。
英语是 fit in。All I wanted to do was fit in 后面就是 there was no way I could fit into anything：因为是犹太人，在没有犹太人的街区哪儿都混不进去。祖父喊 Shmuel 时，前院才把名字一起否认。
被问信不信上帝时，话先到 my spiritual，马上用 not even spiritual 把词收回，改口是 my religious roots and family。后面数的是正统派、希伯来学校和成人礼，不是空说一种心情。
孩子们站在门外齐声喊 the Spielbergs are dirty Jews，这是侮辱犹太人的骂法，骂的是整家人。同一段里还有 being picked on（被盯着捉弄）和 a real cultural divide（两边日子互相隔开），犹太人和外邦人那天是互相隔开的。
祖父隔着七栋房子在门廊上喊 Shmuel。朋友说 Is he talking to you，回答是 No, he must be calling somebody else，接着被问 Is your name Shmuel，大家再笑问 What's Shmuel。名字被否认，是因为只想 fit in，受不了跟街区里的人不一样。
原话是 Steve did not want to be Jewish，因为那让家里人 too different from everybody。紧接着把 Father Knows Best 叫成 assimilated family，意思是把自家特征收起来，外表跟周围一样。yearned for 的就是这种家，所以后来连犹太人身份也否认。
