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Rye Lane · 2023 — Chapter 9 of 16 · 3'59" · B2

Dom and Yas Trade Break-Up Stories, Explained: grand gesture

During Pilates, Dom and Yas trade stories about their exes. Yas says she knew it was over when her boyfriend "don't wave at boats," and divides the world into people who wave back and "the ones who hate joy." Dom counters with his own disaster: an anniversary date at a fried chicken shop.

What happens

At a Pilates class, Dom asks Yas when she knew her last relationship was over. She says her ex never waved at boats, and that people who do not wave back simply hate joy. Pressed for his own moment, Dom remembers taking his girlfriend to a late-night fried chicken shop for their anniversary, which he thought was romantic.

BreakupsSmall talkConfessingTeasingStrangersB2mediumbritish
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Listen for

grand gestureshare the blamealarm bellsmeant to be

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Phrase of the scene

grand gesture

a big, dramatic act to show feeling

多姆说自己为周年纪念订了第一次约会的地方，那是他试过的最后一次 grand gesture。

He flew across the country as a grand gesture, and she still said no.

Also in this scene

  • share the blame

    to divide the responsibility

  • alarm bells

    warning signs that something is wrong

  • meant to be

    destined to be together or to happen

Everything marked in this scene

35 notes across 67 lines

Phrase · B1my favourite subjectMy favourite subject.
Phrase · B1make it easierMakes it easier, I guess.
Phrase · B2rock upPlus, I doubt there'd be a lot of, uh, bike rides and boiled eggs if I rocked up home.
Phrase · B2a distant memoryCouple rich ex-husbands, menstruation a distant memory, sat out in the park with both my legs behind my head.
Slang · B2still thirstyOld but still thirsty.
Phrase · B2be all setNope. Thought we were all set. [chuckles]
Phrase · B2a single momentThere wasn't a single moment?
Phrase · B2a tiny crack in somethingA tiny crack in the beautiful pottery that was you and her?
Grammar · B2the beautiful pottery that was you and her

relative clause with that

A tiny crack in the beautiful pottery that was you and her?
Phrase · B1need to think about somethingI'm gonna need to think about that.
Phrase · B2a shitload of somethingOh. There were probably a shitload of alarm bells I was snoozing through.
Phrase · B2snooze through somethingOh. There were probably a shitload of alarm bells I was snoozing through.
Slang · B2a shitload ofOh. There were probably a shitload of alarm bells I was snoozing through.
Phrase · A2wave at someone or somethingHe don't wave at boats.
Soundwave at boats

liaison

He don't wave at boats.
Phrase · A2wave backIf people on a boat wave at you, you have to wave back.
Grammar · B2If people on a boat wave at you, you have to wave back

if-clause with have to

If people on a boat wave at you, you have to wave back.
Phrase · B1it's the lawIt's the law.
SoundIt's the law

weak form

It's the law.
Phrase · B2the ones who ...The ones who wave at boats and the ones who hate joy.
Soundthe ones who

liaison

The ones who wave at boats and the ones who hate joy.
Phrase · C1the writing on the wallOh, so, I have thought about my writing-on-the-wall moment.
Phrase · B2wake up at night cringingThis still wakes me up at night cringin'.
Phrase · B1a while backOkay, um, so, a while back, for our anniversary, I wanted to do something special.
Phrase · B2a throwbackA sweet little throwback...
Slang · B2boss manHey-yo, boss man! I need chicken!
Phrase · B2a grand gestureAnyway, that was the last grand gesture I tried.
Phrase · B2not even lyingOkay, I'm not even lyin', yeah?
Grammar · B2if I had a restaurant, I'd call it

second conditional

In fact, if I had a restaurant, I'd call it "Nuggets by Candlelight".
Phrase · B2one's side of the storyBut that is my side of the story, innit?
Phrase · B2share the blame

to divide the responsibility

And there you go again, trying to share the blame.
Phrase · B2be meant to be

destined to be together or to happen

Dom wonders if Gia and Eric are actually meant to be.

Well, I'm just saying, what if they actually are meant to be?
Phrase · B2the best man's speechA funny anecdote in a future best man's speech?
Phrase · B2insanely forgivingWow. That is insanely forgiving.
Phrase · B2takes talentHey. Not everyone can be this, uh, progressive. Takes talent.

Dom and Yas Trade Break-Up Stories, explained

What's really going on

The Pilates class is an excuse for the film's real subject: two people comparing the wreckage of their past relationships. Yas gets there first with a joke that turns into a theory — her ex "don't wave at boats," which means he belongs to "the ones who hate joy." It is funny, but it is also her way of saying she was with someone who refused small, ordinary happiness. Dom's own story, an anniversary at a fried chicken shop that he thought was romantic, is the opposite: he tried too hard and misread the room. His worry that "I'm the awkward hook-up story" is the fear underneath the whole afternoon, and Yas answers it by refusing to let him take all the blame. The class ends with him admitting she has inspired him, which is as close to a confession as the scene gets.

Theme

HeartbreakBoth of them measure their old relationships by small failures, and Dom admits he is still haunted by his.
RomanceThe scene compares two ways of loving: Yas wants someone who waves back, and Dom stages grand gestures that miss the point.

What you'll learn

  • Waving at boats is her private law, not harbour etiquette.
  • Haven't decided yet keeps him unsorted after the binary.
  • Grand gesture retires romance after chicken and eyebrows.
  • Meant to be here shrinks Dom to a future anecdote.
  • Notice how "wave at boats" changes the exchange.

Listen for

  • wave at boats — liaison
  • It's the law — weak form
  • the ones who — liaison
The ones who wave at boats and the ones who hate joy.

Yas's joke-theory dividing people into those who share ordinary happiness and those who refuse it.

If people on a boat wave at you, you have to wave back.

Her rule for life and for love: small kindnesses should be returned, and refusing is a bad sign.

This still wakes me up at night cringin'.

Dom's confession that his anniversary disaster still embarrasses him whenever he thinks of it.

In fact, if I had a restaurant, I'd call it "Nuggets by Candlelight".

Dom's joke about how romantic he still finds that fried-chicken anniversary date.

Questions about this scene

Why did Yas break up with her ex?

She says he never waved at boats, meaning he would not return a small, harmless gesture. For her, that refusal of ordinary joy was the moment she knew it was over.

Why is Dom's anniversary date embarrassing?

He booked the fried chicken shop where their first date ended, thinking it would be cute and romantic. It clearly did not land, and the memory still makes him cringe.

Why does Dom worry about being the awkward hook-up story?

He is afraid Gia and Eric are meant to be, which would make him a funny anecdote in their future wedding speech rather than a real partner.

Why does Yas say Dom is trying to share the blame?

Instead of admitting he was part of the break-up, Dom wonders whether Gia and Eric are simply destined for each other, which shifts the blame away from himself.

What does "writing-on-the-wall moment" mean?

It means the moment you can no longer pretend everything is fine, when the ending is already written and obvious. Dom is asked to name his own such moment.

Rye Lane · 16 chapters

All chapters →
Up next · Chapter 10good for the soulYas Misses Her Costume Interview
Chapter 1prang outYas Teases Dom at His Gallery ShowChapter 2very youYas Buys Nathan's Photo at the ShowChapter 3pay my duesDom and Yas Meet in PeckhamChapter 4spill the teaDom Tells the Cinema Break-Up StoryChapter 5off the hookYas Tries to Stop Dom's SummitChapter 6shelf lifeDom Confronts Gia and Eric at DinnerChapter 7up in the worldYas Invents a Karaoke Love StoryChapter 8in hindsightYas Confronts Gia at the TableWatching · Chapter 9grand gestureDom and Yas Trade Break-Up StoriesChapter 10good for the soulYas Misses Her Costume InterviewChapter 11jump through hoopsYas Explains the Hummus Break-UpChapter 12say no moreDom and Yas Scam Jules's MumsChapter 13kick itDom Overhears Why Yas StayedChapter 14could murderYas Gets Caught in Jules's FlatChapter 15breaking and enteringDom and Yas Caught Stealing the RecordChapter 16start overDom Arrives on a Boat for Yas
Chapter 9 of 16 · about 20 min to go