这场戏：向丈夫坦白爱上情人
第 14 章 · 共 15 章 · 2'38"
莱斯利向丈夫坦白，她一直爱着那个被自己开枪打死的人。她说 in love with（爱上）哈蒙德，又说每次见面都 beside myself（情绪失控）。想说清又爱又恨、理智全无的心情，这两个表达最到位。
❝ 独白 · 7 句 她说 in love with（爱上）那个被杀的人
in love with 爱上、与…相恋at peace 心里安宁、踏实reproaching myself 自责、责备自己
❝ 独白 · 6 句 开枪那一夜的复述
把追赶、连开数枪写成近乎机械的动作，情绪反而更重。
莱斯利终于向丈夫罗伯特说出真相：她多年来一直爱着哈蒙德，两人每周偷偷见面，没有一个人察觉。她一句 in love with（爱上）说尽了旧情，用 at peace（心里安宁）说自己从没有一刻安宁，又用 beside myself（情绪失控）形容得知他要离开时的崩溃，最后承认 There's no excuse for me（我没有任何借口）。想用英语讲一段又爱又恨的往事，这一段是最好的范本：既要有 in love with 这种固定搭配，也要有 beside myself、at peace 这类描写心情的说法。
A1–C2 是欧标等级。点一个等级后，比它高的卡片会变淡，播放到那里不会自动暂停。
“It means that I was in love with Geoff Hammond.”
意思是，我爱上了杰夫·哈蒙德。
一句最平常的句子宣布最不平常的事，把整场审判推翻。
It means that I was in love with ...
要坦白一段隐瞒的感情或真相时用；在众目睽睽下这样说几乎等于自毁。
The truth is I loved Geoff Hammond. ／ It means I have been in love with him all along.
literary
It means that 轻带过，in love with 重读，人名放稳。
It means I was in love with someone else back then. 意思是，那时候我爱着另一个人。
“I was like a person who is sick with some loathsome disease and doesn't want to get well.”
我就像得了什么恶心病症的人，却不想好起来。
用一个病与不肯痊愈的比喻，把上瘾般的情感说透。
I was like a person who ...
形容自己明知有害却戒不掉时用；在正式场合这样说会显得过于私密。
I was like an addict who refuses to quit. ／ It was a sickness I had no wish to cure.
literary
loathsome 重读，doesn't want 连读，get well 收慢。
I was like a person who knows the habit is poison and keeps at it. 我就像明知这习惯是毒药，却还是停不下来的人。
“Even my agony was a kind of joy.”
连我的痛苦都成了一种快乐。
把矛盾并置成一句短诗，痛与快感同时成立。
Even my ... was a kind of ...
写复杂感受、描述又爱又恨时用；日常对话里说会显得过于文气。
Even the pain felt good. ／ My suffering itself became a pleasure.
literary
Even 轻起，my agony 重读，a kind of joy 放慢。
Even my exhaustion was a kind of happiness. 连我的疲惫都成了一种幸福。
“I hated him because he'd made me despise myself.”
我恨他，因为他让我瞧不起自己。
把恨的根由指回自己，一句话拆穿爱与自尊的纠缠。
I hated him because he'd made me ...
说清怨恨的真正来源时用；对当事人当面说出会立刻撕破脸。
I hated him for making me hate myself. ／ What I really hated was what he turned me into.
中性
hated him 连读，because 轻读，despise myself 重读。
I hated him because he had made me doubt myself. 我恨他，因为他让我怀疑自己。
“There's no excuse for me.”
我没有任何借口。
不辩解、不求情，五个词把罪责全部收进自己身上。
There's no excuse for me.
认错、拒绝为过错找理由时用；对长辈或上级说会显得郑重而沉重。
I have no excuse. ／ Nothing can justify what I did.
正式
There's 轻读，no excuse 重读，for me 收平。
There's no excuse for what I said to you. 我对你说的那些话，没有任何借口。
We used to meet each other constantly once or twice a week. Not a soul had the smallest suspicion. Every time I met him, I hated myself, and yet I lived for the moment when I'd see him again. It was horrible. There was never an hour when I was at peace, when I wasn't reproaching myself. I was like a person who is sick with some loathsome disease and doesn't want to get well. Even my agony was a kind of joy.
我们以前常常见面，每周一两次。 没有一个人起过半点疑心。 每次见到他，我都恨自己， 可我又一心盼着再见到他的那一刻。这太可怕了。 我没有一刻是安宁的，没有一刻不在责骂自己。 我就像得了什么恶心病症的人，却不想好起来。 连我的痛苦都成了一种快乐。
Then he got up to go, and I knew if he left, I'd never see him again, so I seized the revolver and fired, heard a cry, and I knew I'd hit him. He staggered toward the veranda, and I ran after him and fired and fired and fired. There's no excuse for me. I don't deserve to live.
然后他起身要走，我知道他这一走，我就再也见不到他了， 于是我抓起左轮手枪开了枪， 听见一声叫喊，我知道打中了他。 他踉踉跄跄朝游廊走去，我追上去，一枪又一枪地打。 我没有任何借口。 我不配活着。
下一章 · 15good sport不扫兴的人这场戏：盛装出席庆功酒会意思是「爱上某人、与某人相恋」，强调一种持续的感情状态。莱斯利用它说 It means that I was in love with Geoff Hammond，就是承认自己爱上了哈蒙德。
可以说 I'm sick and tired of it。sick and tired of 就是「受够了、厌烦透顶」，比只说 tired of 情绪更重，用来抱怨长期受不了的事最合适。
它表示「情绪失控、不能自已」，常和 be 连用，比如 I was beside myself。多形容太生气、太担心或太激动，并不是字面上的「在我旁边」。
不完全是。at peace 常指「心里安宁、踏实」，说一个人内心没有愧疚和煎熬。莱斯利用它说自己没有一刻安宁，用得很准。
可以说 There's no excuse for me。excuse 在这里是「借口、辩解」，no excuse for 就是「没有借口、无可辩解」，认错道歉时用得上。
