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Presidents Trade a Watch for a Ride, Explained

My Fellow Americans · 1996

Capítulo 7 de 13 · 2'11"

Two presidents flag a ride to Cleveland and call it a fact-finding mission. The driver wants a watch, not a speech. Beneath the bargain sits a class clash. "This really steams my clams" mourns a Gorbachev watch, and a later line says these Washington men would not know the plain truth if it jumped up at them.

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Key moments

Start here, then watch the full scene
  1. A Watch Pays for the Ride

    0:46–1:43
    57s
  2. The Plain Truth Bites Back

    1:44–2:10
    25s

Presidents Trade a Watch for a Ride, explained

What happens

Matt Douglas and President Kramer are broke on the road to Cleveland. One of them tells a driver who they are, claims a fact-finding mission for the interstate commerce commission, and asks for a ride with no cash. She takes a watch instead. In the car, talk of a burrito turns into a fight about weight and whether men from Washington can see the plain truth.

What's really going on

The ride begins as a con. Broke, and admitting "We don't have any other choice," the two presidents package a hitchhike as a "fact-finding mission" for the interstate commerce commission, a way to "gain a personal perspective" on the interstate system. The driver skips the ceremony. "I'll take your watch" turns the appeal into a price. The anger that follows is about status. "This really steams my clams" follows the loss of a Constellation watch given by Gorbachev. Someone adds that only two like it exist. Food talk does not cool the car. A compliment about dieting slides into weight, and the driver ends it with "You wouldn't know the plain truth if it jumped up and bit you in the butt." She is answering the flattery. She has called herself obese, and she says they still would not know the plain truth. In this car, Washington means people who talk past a fact until the person giving the ride names it.

Key lines & what they mean

“You wouldn't know the plain truth if it jumped up and bit you in the butt.”
The driver is finished with polite dodging. She means the two men can look straight at her and still refuse to admit what she has already said about her size.
“What's wrong with you? I'm obese. Open your damn eyes.”
She throws the compliment back, states her size out loud, and tells the other person to look.
“We don't have any other choice.”
Said before they walk up to the car. Hitching this ride is the only move they believe they have left.
“You know, that's the trouble with you boys in Washington.”
She lumps both passengers in with Washington and says their habit is missing an obvious fact, in this case her weight.

Theme

  • Satire — Two presidents hitch a ride, pay with a watch, and get lectured by the driver on the plain truth.
  • Class — A Gorbachev watch and the phrase boys in Washington meet a driver who prices the ride herself and names what they will not say.

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Preguntas frecuentes

La pregunta, luego la frase
Why do they give up the watch?

They have no cash, and they say they have no other choice. The driver answers with "I'll take your watch." A speaker protests that Gorbachev gave him the watch and that only two like it exist, but the talk moves on to food, so the watch is what buys the ride.

Why does the diet talk turn into a fight?

Someone tells her she does not need to diet and adds that she looks good carrying an extra hundred pounds. She has already said she is obese. She treats the flattery as a dodge and says they would miss the plain truth even if it jumped up at them.

What does "This really steams my clams" mean here?

It is an old, comic way to say a person is furious. In the car it follows the loss of the watch: a gift from Gorbachev is gone, and only two like it exist, so the speaker is boiling.

Are they honest about why they need the ride?

No. Someone introduces Matt Douglas and President Kramer and calls the ride a fact-finding mission for the interstate commerce commission, a way to judge the highways in person. Just before the pitch, they admit they hope the story works because they have no other choice.