“what I desire above all in a wife is firmness of character.”
Why it's great
Above all throws away the joke and leaves one standard standing.
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Formal
Use it yourself
What I desire above all in a friend is firmness of character.
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Wentworth on Firmness of Character, Explained
Persuasion · 2007
Chapter 3 of 7 · 2'27"
Someone comes home, finds other people in the house, and answers with praise for worthy and careful hands. Marriage talk follows. A man just paid off jokes that any woman from fifteen to thirty will do, then turns earnest: "what I desire above all in a wife is firmness of character."
Key moments
Start here, then watch the full scene- 1:29–2:22
❝ Monologue · 5 lines He Drops the Joke About a Wife
53s
Wentworth on Firmness of Character, explained
What happens
Miss Elliot comes home and meets Captain Wentworth. Told that finding the others in the house must be very bad, the reply calls the house worthy and careful hands. The room hears that Benwick's fiancée died while he was at the Cape, and that the fortune came too late. A man paid off and ashore says he will settle, and that a wife must have firmness of character.
What's really going on
Miss Elliot is told that finding other people in her own house must be very bad for her. The reply is that the house is in "worthy and careful hands." Benwick and Harville's sister waited five years for a fortune to satisfy her family. She died last summer while he was out at the Cape. "Now he has it, of course, but too late." A man just paid off says he will settle. The first offer is a joke: any woman between fifteen and thirty, a little beauty, a few smiles, a compliment to the navy. "But if I am to speak in earnest" drops the joke. Above all he wants "firmness of character," a woman who knows her own mind. He will not abide timidity or "feebleness of purpose." A weak spirit "always open to persuasion," first one way and then the other, "can never be relied upon." This is a standard for a wife, not praise for anyone in the room.
Key lines & what they mean
- “what I desire above all in a wife is firmness of character.”
- The joke about any woman from fifteen to thirty is over. Spoken in earnest, this is his real requirement: a wife whose mind stays her own.
- “A weak spirit which is always open to persuasion, first one way and then the other, can never be relied upon.”
- He has just refused timidity and feebleness of purpose. Here a person who can be talked one way, then the other, is someone he will not rely on.
Theme
- Marriage — He jokes that almost any woman will do, then says a wife must above all have firmness of character.
- Trust — A weak spirit, open to persuasion and swaying one way then the other, is called something that can never be relied upon.
What this chapter teaches
Teaching points
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Language points
Click a card to jump to its moment in the videoGolden lines
A great line in its own right — why and how to use it“A weak spirit which is always open to persuasion, first one way and then the other, can never be relied upon.”
Why it's great
The line shows a mind swinging both ways, then refuses to trust it.
Register
Formal
Use it yourself
A partner who is always open to persuasion can never be relied upon.
Monologue
One character carrying the scene — shadow the whole passage❝ The wife he wants
But if I am to speak in earnest, what I desire above all in a wife is firmness of character. A woman who knows her own mind. I cannot abide timidity or feebleness of purpose. A weak spirit which is always open to persuasion, first one way and then the other, can never be relied upon.
The joke stops, and one standard is pressed until trust itself is refused.
Up next · 04easily persuadedThe scene: Not So Easily PersuadedPeople also search
Questions, then the linesWhy does he offer to marry any woman between fifteen and thirty?
He has said he is paid off and ashore and at last resolved to settle. Asked if he has anyone in mind, he says no, and calls it a foolish match: a little beauty, a few smiles, and a compliment to the navy, and he shall be lost. Another line asks what right a humble sailor has to expect any better.
Why bring up firmness of character after that joke?
The talk changes on "But if I am to speak in earnest." What he desires above all in a wife is firmness of character, a woman who knows her own mind. He cannot abide timidity or feebleness of purpose.
What kind of person can never be relied upon here?
A weak spirit which is always open to persuasion, first one way and then the other. The line just before refuses timidity and feebleness of purpose.