Chapter 9 of 15 · 4'24"
The coming-out becomes a reckoning about childhood. Adam's dad admits it was "hardly a shock" — he had known for years — but the talk turns to real guilt. He confesses he didn't want to think of his son as the kind of boy the other lads would pick on, and that he might have bullied him too.
Dad Admits He Might Have Bullied Adam
Adam sits with his dad by the Christmas tree. His dad says the coming-out was hardly a shock and jokes that he always knew Adam was a bit different, because he could never throw a ball. Then the talk turns serious: he admits he didn't want his son to be the kind of boy other lads would pick on, and that he might have picked on him too.
The scene is the father's turn to be honest. He starts lightly, saying the coming-out was "hardly a shock," and even jokes about Adam never learning to throw a ball. But when Adam asks why he never came into his room when he heard him crying, the father stops deflecting. "I just didn't want to think of you as the kind of boy that the other lads would pick on," he says, and then goes further: "And I knew that if I was at your school, I'd probably have picked on you too." That admission is the heart of the scene — he confesses not cruelty but cowardice, a wish to have a son who wouldn't need protecting. Adam answers that he had always suspected as much, and that it is probably why he never told him what was happening at school.
A1–C2 is the CEFR scale. Cards above the level you pick fade, and playback will not auto-pause on them.
“I just didn't want to think of you as the kind of boy that the other lads would pick on.”
It names the shame that kept a father silent for years.
Informal
“And I knew that if I was at your school, I'd probably have picked on you too.”
He puts himself among the bullies, which is brutal and honest at once.
Informal
“I always knew you were a bit tutti-frutti.”
A clumsy old word carries the admission that he always knew.
Informal
“Well, I mean, it was hardly a shock.”
It says 'I already knew' without saying it cruelly, catching the confession while saving face.
Informal
Up next · 10always on my mindThe scene: Adam's Christmas with His ParentsHe claims he had sensed Adam was gay for years, so the coming-out didn't surprise him. It's also his way of making the moment less heavy.
He says he didn't want to see his son as the kind of boy who gets picked on, and that if he had been at Adam's school he probably would have joined in.
Because he sensed his father wouldn't want to hear it. As Adam says, that is probably why he never told him what was happening at school.
It's an old slang word for a gay or effeminate man. Adam's dad uses it as a joke, but it shows the dated attitudes behind his casual tone.
On a gentler note: the dad reminds Adam of decorating the Christmas tree, and Adam recalls being allowed to put the fairy on top. They find common ground in old, ordinary memories.
