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❝ Monologues · 47 lines · B2

Attention. Attention.

Friday's movie trailer · M*A*S*H (1970)

Attention. Attention.

Line 1 of 47

Colonel Blake has secured for us The Halls of Montezuma.

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1Attention. Attention.
2Colonel Blake has secured for us The Halls of Montezuma.
3Technicolor. Tell it to the marines , those lovable lugs with wonderful mugs , who we now love more than ever.
4Tell them they're still the greatest guys in the world.
5Follow Lieutenant, Punchy, Limey, Babyface, Doc, the poet, Pretty Boy and Slattery...
6through some ofthe most interesting war films yet created.
7Uh, due to a possible camp infection, Arlene Chu's Hollywood Grill is now off limits .
8That is all.
9Could I have some longer needles- [ Trapper ] Could I have a sponge stick? Get her lung out ofthe way.
10 Cut down on the bagging, will you?
11Hey, Dago. Hi.
12You have a nice time in Japan?
13Yeah, I screwed a Kabuki dancer. [ Laughter ] [ Hawkeye ] Okay?
14You're doing— Let me have the long fingers.
15It's okay for now . Yeah, but I can't stop this bleeding.
16Keeping the blood in, Painless. [ Trapper ] How's the intake, Painless?
17Normal. [ Trapper ] Clamp.
18I'm here if you need me, Henry.
19I can't talk to you now, Padre. No, uh— Sponge stick. Sponge stick.
20- [ Man ] Oh, he's going to be fine. - [ Dago Red ] Oh, good. Does anybody else need help?
21It's taken too long. [ Trapper ] Get a clamp.
22 Ask around .
23What's he got the flaps down for?
24Duke? Come on, Duke. Open up .
25No, I don't want any. Hey, Duke, come on! Open up, man!
26Who is it? [ Clattering ]
27 What the hell you doing back here?
28Come on. We've been working for hours. Will you open up?
29Oh, wait a minute. I'll be right with you.
30Hi, Hot Lips. You miss us ?
31Radar. Yes, sir.
32 Hold this , please. [ Phone Ringing ]
33Colonel Blake.
34Henry? Yeah, Charlie here. Yeah.
35I've, uh, got news for you.
36You were so concerned about the battle for Old Baldy. [ Chuckles ] Well, it's all over .
37Oh, that's great news , General. Who won?
38Oh, by the way, I have a report here, Henry, from your, uh— from your chief nurse Major O'Houlihan.
39She makes some accusations, Henry, I find pretty hard to believe.
40Don't believe them then. Thank you, General. Good-bye.
41Yeah. What?
42Uh, thank you, Radar. You're welcome, sir.
43Attention. Attention.
44Friday night's movie will be The Glory Brigade.
45Rock 'em, sock 'em, kisses you never got.
46It's Uncle Sam's combat engineers charging side by side with Greeks, Anzacs, showing the world a new way to fight as they use bulldozers like bazookas, bayonets like bazookas— bullets.
47Starring Victor Mature. That is all.

Why it's worth practising

Piled-on metaphors turn a recruitment-style pitch into quiet anti-war mockery.

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