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❝ Monologues · 33 lines · B2

I don't tip because society says I have to.

Pink's no-tip speech · Reservoir Dogs (1992)

I don't tip because society says I have to.

Line 1 of 33

I'll tip if somebody really deserves a tip.

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1I don't tip because society says I have to.
Everyday exampleI don't give gifts at the office because society says I have to.
2I'll tip if somebody really deserves a tip.
3If they really put forth the effort , I'll give 'em something, but tipping automatically is for the birds .
4 As far as I'm concerned , they're doing their job.
5- Hey, this girl was nice. - She was OK.
6- She wasn't anything special. - What's special?
7Take you in the back and suck your dick?
8We've been here a long fuckin' time. She's only filled my cup three times.
9When I order coffee, I want it filled six times.
10Six times? What if she's too fuckin' busy?
11"Too fuckin' busy" shouldn't be in a waitress's vocabulary.
12Excuse me, Mr Pink, but the last fuckin' thing you need is another cup of coffee.
13Jesus Christ, these ladies aren't starving to death. They make minimum wage.
14I used to work minimum wage and I wasn't lucky enough to have a job society deemed tip-worthy.
15But they're counting on your tips to live.
16You know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin playing for the waitresses.
17You don't have any idea what you're talking about.
18These people bust their ass .
19This is a hard job.
20 So's working at McDonald's but you don't feel the need to tip them, do you?
21Why not? They serve food.
22But society says, "Don't tip these guys here, but tip these guys here." That's bullshit .
23 Waitressing is the number-one occupation for female non-college graduates in this country.
24It's the one job basically any woman can get and make a living on.
25The reason is because of their tips.
26Fuck all that.
27Jesus Christ!
28I'm very sorry the government taxes their tips. That's fucked up. That ain't my fault.
29It appears waitresses are one of the groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis .
30Show me a piece of paper that says they shouldn't do that, I'll sign it.
31Put it to a vote, I'll vote for it. What I won't do is play ball .
32And this non-college bullshit, I got two words for that - learn to fuckin' type.
33If you expect me to help out with the rent, you're in for a fuckin' surprise.

Why it's worth practising

He builds a small refusal into a full argument about rules, work and fairness.

From

world's smallest violinWatch the full chapter →

Phrases in this speech

for the birds play ball the world's smallest violin have any idea

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