Dearly beloved, when Rupert here was a student at Clifton High School...

That's coast-to-coast national TV...

First, Miss Long, thank you for your help at the office and for passing this on to Jerry.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Rupert Pupkin.

You love Kentucky Fried Chicken, right?

Well, you want to know how things went at my job today?

Look, you need to learn how things work on this island.