My wife used to fart when she was nervous.

Of course that's your contention. You're a first-year grad student.

whereby a defendant can claim self-defense against an agent of the government...

I've been sitting here for ten minutes now lookin' over this rap sheet of yours.

Now, from the beginning...

So you go find the gas passer, and you have him premedicate this patient.

I, Francis MacKenzie Bledsoe, being of sound mind and body,