All right, um — A big confession, you know?

For a television show. Some friends of mine are these cable access producers.

My parents have never really spoken of the possibility of my falling in love or getting married or having children.

I remember when, uh, my mother first told me about death.

You love Kentucky Fried Chicken, right?

Well, you want to know how things went at my job today?

Look, you need to learn how things work on this island.